Asking Why

Earlier this week we randomly lost power for several hours. I was gone for most of it, but the last couple hours we were without I was home by myself, in the dark, so I sat by candle light playing solitaire with a deck of cards. My neighbor came out while I was sitting out there and we started chatting (my house is a duplex). In our conversation we got on the topic of religion. I mentioned how I was Catholic and he started asking me questions about why I was Catholic/Christian, what made me choose it, and what made me continue to practice. And I answered him...

But what struck me is that for the first time in a really, really long time someone asked me why I had the religion I did. I am blessed here in Columbus to be surrounded by a beautiful Catholic community that feeds and nurtures my faith, that provides me with a support system, but we don't engage in conversations about why we're Catholic.. we might ask why someone lives in household, or is leading a bible study, or joining a bible study, or why they go to daily mass... but we don't ask simply why someone is practicing their faith.

So I suppose you're wondering what my answer may have been when this guy asked me why I'm Catholic..

Well, I was taken aback by the question, so I thought on it for a few minutes, and uncomfortably stalled saying umm while I gathered my thoughts. Anyway, I talked through my answer - I started off reflecting on how I'm a convert to the faith - I chose the Catholic Church... but really, it chose me.

(best friend in high school)

My best friend in high school asked me to go on a mission trip with her... and that was the first real encounter I'd had with any faith in years. I went back the second year, after struggling through a year of depression, and ups and downs - and God had continued to work in my heart. Soon after my second mission trip (with the help of my current boyfriend), I came to the conclusion that something was missing in my life, and that something was God, and I wanted it, but didn't know how to get it. So I email the youth minister at the parish I'd been placed at by Divine intervention (or chance, however you want to look at it). And he told me I needed to become Catholic and I was like oh, okay - how do we do that? So we set up a game plan. I started RCIA, broke up with my boyfriend (well he broke up with me), questioned why I was doing this - decided it wasn't for boy, but was for me, and next thing I knew, I was Catholic. I was hurting, I was struggling, but I had somewhere to turn.

I mentioned earlier how I struggled through a year of depression and the struggle I faced in that time was not feeling wanted, not feeling loved, not knowing my worth, and most of all not having any place to turn, to call home.. When I encountered Jesus, when I found the Catholic church, when I became a Christian, I finally felt home. I felt more at home in the chapel than I did in my own bedroom and spent my entire life in. 

Why am I still practicing today?

Because I still find Jesus, and the Catholic faith to be my home. Over the last few weeks I had begun questioning and wondering and doubting my faith and why I was doing it? And this guy asked me what made me keep my faith, which reminded me why I picked it in the first place. But today, I was reminded even more so why I am still Catholic - because my heart still finds its home in Jesus. In my questioning the last few weeks I had taken a step back, and there was a few weeks where I didn't go to daily mass at all, which is very unlike me. I went to mass today though, and made a point to go to adoration. I knew I needed to seek Jesus in the Eucharist, and I needed to process my life. When I left adoration, my heart was so full. I was overflowing with peace, joy, and love. I was beyond grateful that Jesus showed me, reminded me, my home is in him, and he is my satisfaction.

So I want to ask you, to challenge you - why are you Christian, why are you Catholic - reflect on this, and to one up this - ask someone else you know why they believe what they believe.

(confirmation)

(baptism)