Bringing Light to the Darkness

I recently made a decision to bring to the light an area of darkness in my life. Here in Columbus we started a new women's ministry that deals with sin in the area of sexuality for women - and to bring about healing in this area where so many women have been wounded because of the ways of this world. And I didn't want to do this. I avoided it and literally at the last minute ended up doing it. The group was planning to meet for the first time 8 am Sunday morning and I emailed Saturday asking if there was a way for me to do this this semester. Clearly, the Lord wanted me to do this.

In September we had One Gospel. It's an event put on by St. Paul's Outreach, a ministry I have been involved in for some time now. And we had guest speaker Deacon Ralph Poyo. He's awesome. And he closed talk with a statement saying it doesn't hurt to share his story. He was sexually assaulted as a young child and travels the country sharing his story and the love of God and His healing power in his life. It's truly a gift. Anyway, he said it doesn't hurt when he shares his story anymore and my mind was blown by that. I wanted that. I wanted healing to the point that my heart didn't sting a little when I shared my own story because with my own conversion story I was wounded along the way from a relationship and 5 years later I was still hurting from it sometimes. But the thing was - I was not dealing with this hurt, instead, I was suppressing and burying it.

Finally on that Saturday night something snapped in me that motivated me to take action. I knew this ministry was being offered and I needed it, but I was not wanting to accept this truth.

Praise God for his faithfulness and steadfast love!

Since I started this new chapter in my life, since I brought light to this area of my life I was suppressing and burying I have experienced a new found freedom. Today, I was reflecting on questions for this weeks chapter and I realized I am far more broken than I thought I was. But I also realized Christ's victory. I want to share a few snippets of what has been important to me so far in this journey.

These are just different portions of the readings:

The making of comparison is dangerous for a Christian. We need silence to be able to touch souls. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have become near by the blood of Christ, for He is our peace. Christ reconciled God and made to be one community in peace through the cross. Understanding your identity in Christ is absolutely essential for your success at living a victorious Christian life. No person can consistently behave in a way that's inconsistent with the way he perceives himself. What matters more is not what others say or think of you but what God says and thinks of you. We have to learn how to renew our minds. I have to choose to believe the promise of God and to let these truth permeate my heart. We have trouble learning how to go to the true Comforter as our only source of comfort. I need to abide in who I am in Christ; abide in Him who abides in me. God fully restores me and welcomes me back with open arms. Jesus is always, always, always enough for me. Jesus Christ is victorious. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. When we know we are and whose we are, we receive the peace of Christ and in that peace, from knowing our identity, our hearts and minds are guarded, are protected because we are immersed in Christ's love and mercy. Because of who my Father is I have authority and power in my life to choose to believe the truth that I am God's daughter, his beloved, and his love is enough for me. 

This is just a tidbit of the truth God is beginning to teach me. I am ever thankful for his faithfulness, for his steadfast love, and for his mercy. As I was chatting with a friend about this she suggested memorizing a few verses that you can say in moments when it is hard so that you continue to bring light to the area when you do struggle. So I want to close with those 3 verses.

1. I have been established, anointed, and sealed by God. 2 Cor 1:21-22
2. I am confident that the good work God has begun in me will be perfected Phil 1:6
3. I may approach God with freedom and confidence Eph 3:12

Women: For or Against Each Other?

This past week has been so good - seeing the fruit of God working in my life and the community He has blessed me with. On Thursday we had our women's night kick-off and we spent the night hanging out and chatting about why we need women's community, what it looks like, and a game plan for how we want it to impact our lives. I was blown away, to say the least. I was in a house full of countless women. I don't know how many were there, but there were so many new faces, and it was truly a beautiful thing and a gift to be able to see all these women - desiring and searching for the same thing.

These pictures above are of the notes we took when our small groups joined as a big group and we talked about what our small groups shared. I figured posting the pictures would be easier than me trying to type them all out. 

One of the things my group talked about was how in our culture women tend to compete. And Laura, one of the girls in our group brought up how sometimes we want to scream to other women that we are all on the same team! So often we see on television and in media news that these women are competing - who's the most beautiful, who's the most thin, who has the best hair, best skin, best sense of style, who can get more guys. We see this idea where girls are friends with each other because they think the other is pretty. Relationships are superficial. They don't go beyond a certain point because we're all competing in order to be the most successful woman - to be the woman who does it all. 

But that is NOT what we are called to! 

As women, we actually need each other. We need to build each other up, We need to help each other see their worth, their dignity, their value. We need each other to teach other that our identity is rooted in Christ. Women understand each other in a way that men do not.... men don't experience PMS, they don't experience emotions in the same way women do, they don't think the same way women do, they don't view the world in the same way women do. In order to be understood, in order to understand ourselves sometimes - we need our sisters. We need other women to point out our beauty when we can't see the beauty that is within us. And we need other women to call us on in holiness. We need women who can point out to us that we shouldn't wear that shirt or those pants because it doesn't reflect our worth. We need women to say we shouldn't talk about a sister that way because it's not up building the community. We need sisters to tell us they are proud of us for making a decision in order to better our lives. 

I wanted to write this to echo what we talked about in my community. To call on each of us to love the women in our lives, to see the beauty of those relationships, the fruit that comes from them. Most of all to invite you to join in this journey with me - and the women in this world to put an end to this competitive nature so we don't have to be so concerned with what is going to be said about us, but can know and trust our sisters are going to love us and treat us with the dignity and worth that is within each of us. With these relationships we can find healing, we can find truth. We can be free to open the wounds, to bring to light the baggage we hold within our hearts that we're ashamed to seek healing from  - and find freedom to become the saints the Lord is calling us to be. I want to close with a quote one of the mission leaders shared with us Thursday night - 

To become a saint is to become more fully yourself, more fully who God created you to be. 

the women I am blessed to share life with