Breathe

This past week I've lost count of how many people have said this has been the week from hell for them. Whether it's failing an exam, having more exams than you know how to study for, having a car getting broken into, a sprained ankle, headaches, sickness, etc. it has been a rough week. And really, in Ohio it seems have been a rough couple weeks between tornadoes and high school shootings, and I'm probably forgetting a few things - life has not been easy.

But, is this really new? Does it not often seem like times are hard?

This week was rough for me because it was busy. I had extra 'stuff' going on in my week that I don't normally have. I have a sprained ankle, am training for a half marathon, and can't run (running is just one of my stress relievers). I have an exam next Friday in O-chem that I basically have to get an 80, which is stressful, I've never had to think about what I get on an exam.. I did not understand my O-chem homework last night, I was to the point of tears I was so frustrated with it. Then I went to One Gospel, an event in Columbus where college students gather together, hear a talk, and praise God. It forced me to stop in the busyness of my week and focus on God. I had been so busy my prayer life got put on the side burner. Normally, I take about 30 minutes and spend time in prayer, but I didn't take that time. There were times when I could have, but chose not to, especially since my normal time was disrupted by various activities or distractions.

Today was a good day. I was still filled with joy from last night, where my brothers and sisters placed so much laughter and joy in my life, they lifted me up in a way they probably didn't realize. However, when I had to sit down and finish my o-chem homework I was like man, I'm not going to get the percentage I need on this to get all 10 points, and every point counts in this class, and I don't know why I'm even bothering because I'm just going to get stuck. Well, I started in, and the first problem stumped me. I was like okay - I need to get out of this attitude because doing it will help me because it is practice and will help me for the exam, even if I don't do well now, it will help me in the long run. So I continued on. The last two problems actually went well. I got both of them right on the first time, and ended up getting me to the points I needed to get full credit for the assignment. Sweet.

So I'm sitting here thinking to myself, wow that was sweet. If we just stop for a second, take a breath and trust that Jesus will take care of it, things will come together.

This week may have been 'the week from hell' but if we remember to take a deep breath and renew our trust in the Lord, all things will come together and his will shall be done. 


I can also apply this to my running adventure on Sunday when my ankle became inflamed, I was given a chance to contemplate the grace of God, specifically with the metaphor of a river, and last night we sang a song called The River Flows. The lyrics are below. It explains it all : )

Basically, if you feel like your in a week or even a day or maybe a month 'from hell' stop, turn yourself towards God and trust in His love and mercy!
God bless!

From the throne of God and from the Lamb the river flows.
Life redeeming, ever healing, age to age it goes.
No more sun, the Holy One – our light that ever shines.
Crystal clear, the river here, will swell our hearts to join the cry!

Awake, O sleeper, rise to life, and Christ will give you light!
Lift your head – behold the river.
He mounts his throne to shouts of praise; be opened heaven's gates.
Enter in, O King of Glory!

"Come!" the Spirit calls, and with the bride the Spirit cries:
"Souls that thirst can drink their fill of water without price.
Blest are those who wash their robes to gain the tree of life.
Face to face with endless grace, lift up your hearts to hear the cry!"

Awake, O sleeper, rise to life, and Christ will give you light!
Lift your head – behold the river.
He mounts his throne to shouts of praise; be opened heaven's gates.
Enter in, O King of Glory!

O King of Glory!

May You Be Mine

May you be my Savior

O Lord, my God

I cling to you

Rescue me

From my sin

Fill me with your love

In times of change

May you be my rock

On which I stand firm

In times of distress

May you be the calm 

Reigning in my heart

In times of worry

May you be the one

In whom I trust

In times of fear

May you bring me peace

To trust in you

In all trials of life

May you be my strength

My Lord and my God.

Doubting God - Finding Hope in Him

I was just playing a game of solitaire on my computer, and it looked like it was going to be a bad game so I went to hit the F2 button in order to deal again, but I paused for a second to think about what I was doing. I made the moves I could make with the opening cards and flipped through the deck once, and decided that was enough of a chance that I was giving that deal. In less than 5 minutes, I had given up hope of ever winning in that game. 

How often do we give up hope in life? How often do we doubt God, and doubt what he can do? 

My friend and I had a brief conversation about this the other day. She leaves Tuesday to study abroad for the summer and was really stressed about getting everything done in time to leave very early on Tuesday. My friend said, I know God will take care of it all, but it's so easy to doubt, and I doubt him all the time. 

One of my other friends dropped everything at home, packed up his bags and moved to Columbus to serve the Lord, after having lived in the South all his life. He said before one of the greatest struggles in this journey has been trusting the Lord will continue to provide for him. 

I could continue telling you all these times where people have doubted, but I'll only share one more, my personal experience, which played a major role in my conversion. Before my conversion, a personal relationship with God was a strange idea to me. I thought the whole idea of prayer and a relationship with someone or something I wasn't sure even existed was super sketchy. But I eventually gave it a shot...and realized God does exist, prayer life is important, and there is something beautiful about having a relationship with Christ. However, for the longest time I still struggled with hope. I struggled to know and to trust that my future was in God's hands.

When speaking on hope the catechism says, When God reveals Himself and calls him, man cannot fully respond to the divine love by his own powers. He must hope that God will give him the capacity to love Him in return and to act in conformity with the commandments of charity. Hope is the confident expectation of divine blessing and the beatific vision of God; it is also the fear of offending God's love and of incurring punishment (article 2090). When speaking on hope as a theological virtue the catechism says, Hope is the theological virtue by which we desire the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness, placing our trust in Christ's promises and relying not on our own strength, but on the help of the grace of the Holy Spirit (article 1817). The virtue of hope responds to the aspiration to happiness, which God has placed in the heart of every man (article 1818).  

What does all that mumbo jumbo mean?

For starters, it means we as human beings are weak. We cannot serve our Lord without strength from him. It means we must learn to believe in the existence of God. Then we must learn to trust that He is going to give us the ability to love, if we let Him work in our lives. So in all reality, we need to be open to the idea that God exists. Then we need to come to believe in him through our searching and desires. And then, we need to allow him to work in us. We need to develop a relationship with Christ, so that we can trust Him and trust that He will provide.

We need hope in order to obtain the happiness that we desire. Therefore, we need to pray for the virtue of hope in our lives, trusting and knowing that God will provide for us, and rely not on our own strength, but on his.

This is not an easy task. I’ve been working at growing in the virtue of hope for about 6 months now, and it’s so beautiful, but I’m constantly doubting and questioning the power of our God. It’s so easy to but a limit on our God, but I promise you, our God is limitless, His power is endless – we just need to allow Him into our 
lives and to take control, constantly fighting a battle against the contemporary, materialistic world. 


For you are my hope, O Lord God: you are my trust from my youth 


Psalm 71:5