Comparison: Problematic or Avenue of Grace?

I had a simulation lab for school today. With these it's a learning technique - we play role of nurses more or less independently, with a mannequin who is having a complication. Today was for my pediatrics class and I had one earlier in my semester for my ob class. These are great learning opportunities from a nursing perspective, but I took more than increased nursing knowledge away from this experience.

Today as we were going through the lab I was subconsciously comparing the whole situation to my experience with my OB rotation. Recently, I have been reflecting a lot on this struggle I have with comparing myself to people around me. This situation lead to a realization that as human beings I think we have a tendency to compare ourselves to others. I was comparing to different situations and scenarios today, granted they were put on by two different professors, but both professors had an overall similar goal - for it to be a learning experience. But in my opinion, one group did better than the other. Anyway - I compared the two experiences, subconsciously throughout the entire time - even the prep work was compared. I'd say I even went into today with a slightly negative attitude because of my last experience with simulation lab.

I fall a lot into the game of comparison. It's a constant daily battle. I want everyone to like me, to love I think I fall short. Granted, I am imperfect, and undeserving of all the love God offers, but by his grace, by the blood of the cross I am made worthy, I am healed, I am redeemed, I have dignity and find my identity as his daughter. Which is why the whole comparison and seeing my short comings in such a negative light is problematic.
me... I am a people pleaser. I want to make sure everyone feels included and knows they're loved. I am hyper aware of my surroundings. I always know what's going on. And sometimes being hyper-aware is helpful, and other times not so much. When it comes to comparing myself to others it's often the latter- not so helpful. It's easy for me to compare myself to the appearance of other women and think 'I wish I was that skinny' or 'I wish my hair looked like hers' or 'I love her outfit, man I look like crap today...' etc. The list could go on forever. It's all negative. I look at others and compare myself and see only where

I think I will always compare myself to others and varying situations to each other because that's a way we learn. What matters is what we do with the comparison, our reaction to the differences. In my nursing situation it was good because it was two different situations that provided me with the opportunity to offer my professor better feedback. I didn't just dwell in the suckiness of it - I found a resolution and an action to take!

Comparison becomes a problem when we dwell in the negativity. When we listen to the accusatory lies of satan - saying we're not good enough, we're not loved enough, we need those shoes or that coat or a significant other to be complete. It becomes problematic when we believe the lie that Jesus is not
enough. When comparison causes these things then the quote "comparison is the thief of joy" stands true because we spend more time dwelling in the negative and lies than in the truth and love and light of Christ.

As I've been growing and exploring these areas I've learned three key points:

1. It's a learning experience
   
2. Be patient with yourself
3. Change takes time.

Women: For or Against Each Other?

This past week has been so good - seeing the fruit of God working in my life and the community He has blessed me with. On Thursday we had our women's night kick-off and we spent the night hanging out and chatting about why we need women's community, what it looks like, and a game plan for how we want it to impact our lives. I was blown away, to say the least. I was in a house full of countless women. I don't know how many were there, but there were so many new faces, and it was truly a beautiful thing and a gift to be able to see all these women - desiring and searching for the same thing.

These pictures above are of the notes we took when our small groups joined as a big group and we talked about what our small groups shared. I figured posting the pictures would be easier than me trying to type them all out. 

One of the things my group talked about was how in our culture women tend to compete. And Laura, one of the girls in our group brought up how sometimes we want to scream to other women that we are all on the same team! So often we see on television and in media news that these women are competing - who's the most beautiful, who's the most thin, who has the best hair, best skin, best sense of style, who can get more guys. We see this idea where girls are friends with each other because they think the other is pretty. Relationships are superficial. They don't go beyond a certain point because we're all competing in order to be the most successful woman - to be the woman who does it all. 

But that is NOT what we are called to! 

As women, we actually need each other. We need to build each other up, We need to help each other see their worth, their dignity, their value. We need each other to teach other that our identity is rooted in Christ. Women understand each other in a way that men do not.... men don't experience PMS, they don't experience emotions in the same way women do, they don't think the same way women do, they don't view the world in the same way women do. In order to be understood, in order to understand ourselves sometimes - we need our sisters. We need other women to point out our beauty when we can't see the beauty that is within us. And we need other women to call us on in holiness. We need women who can point out to us that we shouldn't wear that shirt or those pants because it doesn't reflect our worth. We need women to say we shouldn't talk about a sister that way because it's not up building the community. We need sisters to tell us they are proud of us for making a decision in order to better our lives. 

I wanted to write this to echo what we talked about in my community. To call on each of us to love the women in our lives, to see the beauty of those relationships, the fruit that comes from them. Most of all to invite you to join in this journey with me - and the women in this world to put an end to this competitive nature so we don't have to be so concerned with what is going to be said about us, but can know and trust our sisters are going to love us and treat us with the dignity and worth that is within each of us. With these relationships we can find healing, we can find truth. We can be free to open the wounds, to bring to light the baggage we hold within our hearts that we're ashamed to seek healing from  - and find freedom to become the saints the Lord is calling us to be. I want to close with a quote one of the mission leaders shared with us Thursday night - 

To become a saint is to become more fully yourself, more fully who God created you to be. 

the women I am blessed to share life with