Embracing Singleness

It's the before Valentine's... I was scrolling my facebook newsfeed tonight and I stumbled upon an article that was titled 50 Things A 20-Something Single Girl Really Wants for Valentine's Day. And I read through this list my heart actually broke. So many of the things revolved around a broken desire for love. We were made for love, and by Love and we are held into existence by the love of the Lord. He desires to know us. He desires to lavish his love on us.

I've also been doing some thinking on the beauty and the blessedness of these last 5 years that I have been single. The Lord has blessed me so much. Being single is a beautiful time to grow in our relationship with our sisters, our brothers and our Lord. It's a time to learn how to love other men as brothers in Christ - because in reality, most of the men we know will not be our husband... we only get one husband.

Now I'm not saying this has been an easy 5 years of singleness. I have always dreamed of being married. It's all I've ever wanted for my life. I would have been one of those people who would have been content getting married right out of high school. Granted, I'm glad I didn't. I wouldn't trade the life I have now for the world. Regardless, there have been ups and downs of the last 5 years - whether it was just really feeling lonely and wanting a relationship or thinking a guy might like me or really liking a particular guy and wanting them to pursue me. Sometimes it was easy to be jealous of sisters who were in relationships (again, not a constant thing, but there were moments where it was really hard because that's what I really wanted and I didn't have it).

Anywho  - I wanted to write a little something about the ways we can embrace our singleness in our lives, and this doesn't just go for Valentine's day... this is something to do in life in general.

1. Seek the Lord. Seek to know him, to love him, to serve him, to live for him. Our relationship with the Lord is the only relationship that isn't passing. He will always be there. He made us. He knows the number of hairs on our head . He wants to lavish his love on us. When we're single we have a unique opportunity to grow and strengthen our relationship with the Lord. What a gift. And this is so important because the people we are dedicated to care for our lesser than when we're living married life, especially once kids come along. 
2. Build relationships with your sisters (or brothers if you're a guy). Women understand each other in a way that only women can (same goes for men). Women need other women to learn how to be women (men need other men to learn to be men). When we're single we have a unique opportunity in our lives to be in relation with our sisters. Make valentine's for your sisters this year - write them notes of encouragement, love on them a little. These relationships are going to carry through the rest of your life in some way. God has placed these women in your life at this time for a specific reason and purpose - embrace that. 
3. Learn your strengths and your weaknesses. We're all broken. We're all flawed. We all have pet peeves. We all have our own quirks that probably drive other people nuts. But we can build good habits in ourselves, and break bad habits. Maybe you bite your nails - you can work on breaking that habit. Maybe you have a lot of anxiety and don't handle it well - this is a good time to go to a counselor, to seek guidance, to learn better coping mechanisms. Build a habit of daily prayer. Build healthy eating habits. Establish a workout routine. 
4. Spend time with you. I don't know about you, but so often I get so caught loving on other people and caring for them that I forget to take care of myself and spend time with myself. Take a longer shower this weekend, shave your legs for you. Do your nails. Clean your house. Have a coffee date with yourself. Go on a long run. Go on a hike. Do what makes your heart happy. Do what you need to do to feel restored. If we don't care for ourselves we aren't able to care for others. 
5. Spend time with your family. Our parents raised us. They love us more than we can imagine - even when we feel like they don't love us. They have a lot of wisdom to offer us, and they want to offer it. Let them. Let them love you. Make time for them too. 

I'd say that over the last 5 years, and even more so in this last year I have learned more about who I am and whose I am and what I want than I possibly could have imagined. The Lord is good. He provides for us. He has a perfect plan for our lives. Seek him out, seek community around you out. Seek to know, love and serve the Lord all the days of your life - that in all you do you may bring glory to the Lord. Embrace the single years - we spend most of our lives married -  this is a time to be cherished.