Comparison: Problematic or Avenue of Grace?

I had a simulation lab for school today. With these it's a learning technique - we play role of nurses more or less independently, with a mannequin who is having a complication. Today was for my pediatrics class and I had one earlier in my semester for my ob class. These are great learning opportunities from a nursing perspective, but I took more than increased nursing knowledge away from this experience.

Today as we were going through the lab I was subconsciously comparing the whole situation to my experience with my OB rotation. Recently, I have been reflecting a lot on this struggle I have with comparing myself to people around me. This situation lead to a realization that as human beings I think we have a tendency to compare ourselves to others. I was comparing to different situations and scenarios today, granted they were put on by two different professors, but both professors had an overall similar goal - for it to be a learning experience. But in my opinion, one group did better than the other. Anyway - I compared the two experiences, subconsciously throughout the entire time - even the prep work was compared. I'd say I even went into today with a slightly negative attitude because of my last experience with simulation lab.

I fall a lot into the game of comparison. It's a constant daily battle. I want everyone to like me, to love I think I fall short. Granted, I am imperfect, and undeserving of all the love God offers, but by his grace, by the blood of the cross I am made worthy, I am healed, I am redeemed, I have dignity and find my identity as his daughter. Which is why the whole comparison and seeing my short comings in such a negative light is problematic.
me... I am a people pleaser. I want to make sure everyone feels included and knows they're loved. I am hyper aware of my surroundings. I always know what's going on. And sometimes being hyper-aware is helpful, and other times not so much. When it comes to comparing myself to others it's often the latter- not so helpful. It's easy for me to compare myself to the appearance of other women and think 'I wish I was that skinny' or 'I wish my hair looked like hers' or 'I love her outfit, man I look like crap today...' etc. The list could go on forever. It's all negative. I look at others and compare myself and see only where

I think I will always compare myself to others and varying situations to each other because that's a way we learn. What matters is what we do with the comparison, our reaction to the differences. In my nursing situation it was good because it was two different situations that provided me with the opportunity to offer my professor better feedback. I didn't just dwell in the suckiness of it - I found a resolution and an action to take!

Comparison becomes a problem when we dwell in the negativity. When we listen to the accusatory lies of satan - saying we're not good enough, we're not loved enough, we need those shoes or that coat or a significant other to be complete. It becomes problematic when we believe the lie that Jesus is not
enough. When comparison causes these things then the quote "comparison is the thief of joy" stands true because we spend more time dwelling in the negative and lies than in the truth and love and light of Christ.

As I've been growing and exploring these areas I've learned three key points:

1. It's a learning experience
   
2. Be patient with yourself
3. Change takes time.