Rosary Runs + Hats

I bought a hat today. I don't wear hats. I've never worn hats, and never really liked wearing hats, but I bought a hat because I needed something to keep the sun out of my eyes when I run. It's been quite toasty this summer, and I have early starts to my morning, so a morning run hasn't been an option, so I've had to wait for evening to run, but often when I was on my way home the sun is just always hitting me in the eyes. Therefore, I bought a hat. I used it today. It was a good purchase - well worth the $2.88 (thanks walmart).

So I ran tonight because, clearly, I had to test out my hat. That's not actually true. I ran tonight because I just needed to. I needed to do a prayer run. I needed to clear my head, to think, to pray. There seems to be so much going on in my head and nothing all at the same time. It's quite bizarre. 'Round here we've seemed to

have the relationship bug, but I realized earlier this week that I needed to stay focused on where I'm at in my life, and keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. Well - I'm not perfect at that, but I'm working on it.

Because I was feeling all bleh about relationships, and my realizations this week, and needing to come to a concrete resolution, I needed a rosary run. My best revelations come during my rosary runs. I love rosary runs because you're doing something active, and you're praying, and it's hard - so you can push yourself when your hard, but pushing yourself is hard, but you can do it as a prayer - so it becomes doing something greater than yourself. I do my rosary by offering each decade for different intentions. My intentions today were for help in keeping my eyes and heart fixed on Jesus, and doing all for his glory, for my small group girls that I will care for at CYSC (learn more about it here) this upcoming week, for my future spouse (and all the holy men I know who could potentially be that man) for their purity, courage, clarity, and lastly for conversion of all those in my life who do not know Christ. So there are different moments in my run where I'm getting sore, or breathing is getting hard, but in order to keep praying I have to keep running. Anyway, I didn't have any revelations, or profound thoughts during my rosary.

Once I finished today I started walking because I was just feeling really tired, and I could think I a little better that way too. And I just started praying, asking the Lord to help me to see what he wanted to teach me, what he wanted me to do - he was trying to tell me something, but I wasn't listening very well.

One of my favorite quotes came to mind: Whenever anything disagreeable or displeasing happens to you, remember Christ crucified and be silent. St. John of the Cross. 
And I realized that I was frustrated. I was not pleased with having to wait, with having to patient, and I really wasn't pleased with this idea that the guy I might particularly like may not come to be more than a good friendship, and I was holding onto that frustration. Once I recalled this quote a great peace washed over me, and I was reminded of the Lord's great love for me.