This lent, the Lord has really been revealing to me in a new way that I need to trust him, and that I can trust him. He's allotted events to occur where only he could provide, and then he did, and it was so good.
So the first Saturday of lent, I was driving into work, turning into the parking lot, and a truck starts backing up in the middle of the road while I'm turning left behind him, and he thus hits my car. Thankfully my car was still drive-able, but he broke my tail light and dented it. Better yet, he didn't stop or follow me to exchange insurance information, and it was early in the morning so I wasn't thinking straight, and I think I was in shock with what had just happened. So I text my dad and I tell him what happens, send him a picture of the damage. He asks necessary questions, but then he says "don't worry, we'll take care of it. Keep smiling sweetie." Which was extremely reassuring to hear in the moment because I was worried that my dad was going to be mad, I was worried my car wasn't going to be fixable, I was afraid I'd get hit again, etc. In addition, prior to this accident I was stressed due to nursing school that week anyway, and after looking at my long term to do list for the rest of the semester I simply wanted to go hide somewhere far far away.
So Saturday, I normally would've gone home and sulked and whined about everything, but instead I went to adoration and God was so good to me. I had a chance to be in the adoration chapel alone with Jesus for a brief time and there were roses at the foot of the altar, and as I started my prayer I was stressing and worrying about school and my car. And then I remembered what my dad had texted me and realized God was telling me the same thing. I don't need to worry he has it all planned out for me.
Then this past Sunday, the second Sunday in lent, the priest, in his homily, talked about how we do not need to be afraid, and do not need to worry because God has it all under control - just as he tells us in the Gospel: If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?; Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil. So I was very attentive during that homily, and was kinda like Okay God, I get it. I need to trust you.. meanwhile I'd been daydreaming about futuristic things, worrying about passing classes, worrying about family, etc.
Then - today, I went to adoration, and it was so good. I've been going a lot more this lent, and it has been so fruitful to pray in the presence of the Eucharist. This time I started with my normal prayer routine, and as I finished I found myself just wanting to sit there - to just be.. which was a very new experience. But I don't really have any major things hanging over my head that I was being distracted with and I just needed to sit there and gaze in love upon my savior, and allow him to speak to my heart. And as I was sitting there "be still and know that I am God" (exodus 14:14) came to mind, so I open up my bible and start reading the story that line comes from - and it the parting of the red sea.
Did we not tell you this in Egypt, when we said, ‘Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians’? Far better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness.”13But Moses answered the people, “Do not fear! Stand your ground and see the victory the LORD will win for you today. For these Egyptians whom you see today you will never see again.1The LORD will fight for you; you have only to keep still.”
In this moment the people were doubting, and fearful. They did not believe in God's power or even his existence. And I read this story, and it made this last line the Lord will fight for you, you have only to keep still make so much since. This people were filled with fear, doubt, anxiety, but Moses reminds them the Lord will win the victory, we need only be still.
Brothers and sisters, the Lord is victorious. He has already won the battle. He has already seen to all our needs, and continues to see to them, even when we doubt his plan, and doubt his ability. God provides, trust in him. Seek him, and he will reveal to you what you need. He knows what you need before you ask for it.
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