God Works Through Our Sinfulness

I am utterly amazed at how the Lord has been working in my life lately, and especially in the last week. Last weekend we had a youth group retreat and for a girl's session I talked about anger in regards to feeling like we don't have control of our lives. I used a past experience - last year when I was ill with my headaches and taking a semester off school and was in a hard place, I recently realized I had a lot of anger in that time, and so I used this as a time when I did not have control over anything that was happening and I was really frustrated. I even punched a football one time when my friend was holding it because I was so frustrated with everything happening.

Saturday morning as I was pulling into the parking lot at work my car got backed into. It was a bizarre occurrence, but it happened and it was a situation I had no control over, and in the moment I was angry. I saw the damage on my car and got pretty angry. It's still drive-able, and I wasn't injured, it was more a frustrating nuance than anything else. But my point is - I was just talking to these gals about anger when we feel we have no control, and caught myself doing exactly that.

Then today, we had a girl's night where we talked about body image. Just before we started I looked in the mirror and think to myself "these pants make me look really skinny" - what? I'm getting ready to talk to these ladies about body image and am looking in the mirror comparing my own appearance.

For a while, I was getting caught in my pride. I was telling myself  oh yeah, I'm in a good place, I've overcome all these things, and have grown so much - and I actually thought to myself I wonder where I need to grow - and oh don't you worry, the Lord has shown me my own sinfulness, but it is so good.

I think when we're leaders, and trying to help lead others down the path of holiness, it is easy to get caught up in this mindset that you need to be a certain way, and to set yourself to a higher standard, but really we're all just sinners trying to get to the same place.

And I was  processing this with my dear friend, and I realized how beautiful it is that God works through our sinfulness. I'm talking to these women about areas we need to grow in - sins of anger, envy, comparison, pride, etc. but at the same moment I am struggling right alongside them with these things. And that, that is what is so beautiful about our faith, because in my imperfections God is perfect.

Yesterday, I caught myself in anger because of a situation I had no control over, God showed me he had it all taken care of. Today, I got myself critiquing my appearance and how thin I looked, hopefully, he used me to help draw others to Christ. He takes us, in our imperfections, with our yes to carry our cross, and to suffer with him, and he transforms our souls, and he comes through. Where we are weak, he is strong. Where we fall short, he comes through. He works through our sinfulness to help bring others to know him.

Christ has no body now on earth but yours,
no hands but yours,
no feet but yours,
yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion
is to look out to the earth,
yours are the feet by which He is to go about doing good
and yours are the hands by which He is to bless us now.
-St. Teresa of Avila