Healing Takes Time

Something I am continually learning is that healing takes time.

I think back to the first time my heart was truly broken, and I was hurt in an emotional way - crying myself to sleep, and the like - it took me over a year and a half to truly heal from that hurt. I held onto it because I was afraid of what my life would be like without it. But the point is that it took me a really long time to heal from that broken relationship.

I think of the time I had a stress fracture in my tibia (main weight bearing bone in your shin), I was on crutches for 8 weeks and then had physical therapy after that to strengthen my leg.

I think of when my brother got in a car accident - it'll be two years this summer - his knees still bother him, and he went without his two front teeth for almost a year.

I think of my friend who was hit by a car 4 months ago, and still experiences a lot of pain - and his body is still healing.

I think of my friends who had reconstructive jaw surgery, and the long process their healing took.

And I look at myself now - today. This week I had to make a decision - withdraw from school or try and push through with a daily headache? I chose to take the medical leave of absence.

After going to the family doctor, an ear nose and throat specialist, and a neurologist, due to a daily headache, and often times a migraine - I have been diagnosed with Chronic Daily Headaches with a prescription for physical therapy. Through physical therapy I have learned that my neck tissue is ridiculously sensitive, my eye reflexes are off, and a number of other things.

Going into the first week of class, I was able to focus one day in class out of the entire week. That is clearly not enough time to gain the knowledge I need to pass my classes and become the nurse I want to be. So I made the decision to take time off to get myself better.

I think it is easy for all of us to get discouraged in our walks of life. It is easy for us to want to give up - I know I reached that point with this sickness. But there is one thing I learned with this so far - healing takes time. I went into physical therapy with the thought that I would be up to par and back to normal in no time.... 3 sessions later - I'm still experiencing daily pain, have had a headache that knocked me out since I started, and my take home practices are very simple, very slight movements, that most people should be able to do with ease, and for me it is exhausting. It is challenging to retrain your brain that certain things are in fact safe, and rewire my brain to take in daily stimulus as normal and not dangerous.

And throughout - the Lord has managed to renew my faith and restore my hope. I hit a point where I felt like I was never going to get better, and felt that I just dying, slowly & painfully - but the Lord - he knows our limits. He saw my struggle, and has given me the grace to fulfill my daily duties. If it is not his will for me to go to class one day, then he will not give me the grace. But if it is his will that I go to class, he will give me the grace.

We are not given more than we can handle. And so often the suffering we are given is for good, for the salvation of others.

I once read somewhere that we cannot pray for someone and not expect to suffer for them. So as I slowly, but surely work towards my healing, I offer my pain and suffering for those whom I love that they may be drawn closer to Christ, and that my suffering may used for the good of their soul and the fullness of their lives.

So next time you get discouraged when you are healing from a physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual hurt - be patient, offer your suffering for the well being of others, and know our King has a perfect plan and reason for your suffering. There is hope offered in the cross - the death and resurrection of Jesus.