Waiting, Wanting, Desiring --- Discerning?

So I'm a freshman in college, but I already am like "okay - I'm over this college thing, lets get married and start having babies." I know people who are engaged and like "okay - lets just have our wedding and have babies." I know someone who's pregnant and is like "okay - I just want to have my baby." I know someone who is like "okay lets have all my kids and have them all be over the age of 5." My point - we're always looking to the next step. Sometimes, we look forward to the next step so much and get so caught up in living for the future and the next step we miss what's really happening around us. I know just the other week I was telling two of my friends how I can't wait to be done with college, and they were like don't rush it and be sure to enjoy it. At the time they were saying how they would never want to do it again, but it was good while they were in it. 


This something easy to do. For women, we're made to be receptive and to submit. We discern, often earlier than men, and if we discern our vocation is marriage then we just have to sit around and wait for a man  to pursue us. This is hard. But the man is supposed to be the leader of the relationship, so we need to wait, that way he can actually lead. But this waiting time is hard. And it's even harder when you are the youngest one in your circle of friends, and you watch person after person transition in their life. 


A friend of mine talked about this the other night to us, and I really began to take it to my prayer, and I want to share it with you. 


We get in a rush in our lives. We want to fast forward through college so we can have babies (that's going to be my example because that's where I'm at). I'm a freshman in college, in my second semester, and I'm already ready to be done. I just want to be able to get married and have children, be a mom, be a nurse. BUT I need to be a student right now. I'm not ready to get married. Right now I need to focus on growing in relationships with my sisters especially, and with men and brothers/friends. I need to learn to see each person as a precious gift from God. I need to have a consistent prayer life. There is a reason God has not placed in my life who is pursuing my heart. He has a different plan. However, it's easy for me to get frustrated, so what do I do? Here are a few tips I have. Some of these are my own, and some from friends. 


1. I have 3 years left of school. I ask myself -- Could I actually be in a relationship for at least 2 years before getting engaged? Do I want to plan a wedding my last year of school?  Do I even have time for a boyfriend right now? 


2. Sister relationships are necessary. I can always build them stronger. I have time to build them when I'm single.


3. More time for Jesus. I have the freedom to go to adoration as I please. I have time to pray. I need to continue to grow closer to God. Is the Lord my everything, or will it be easy for some man to become my everything, in place of God?


4. Homework/time management. As students we have a lot going on, including homework. We need to be sure we live our vocation as a student, and focus on our studies. 


Those are a few practicals to think about. Now, some tips for when you're feeling frustrated.


1. Be grateful for what you have. Make a list each day of what you're thankful for, and thank God for what he  blessed you with this day. 


2. Sisterly love. Seek out your sisters. When you're struggling, talk to someone, ask them for some advice and to hold you accountable.


3. Embrace your singleness. Be content with the ability to have 'freedom'. I don't know if I like the word freedom, but there's time that you would give to a boyfriend that you have right now that you can give to God, homework, sisters, or yourself.  


4. Scripture. Memorize a few good one liners to just pull out when you need that reminder of God's love and embrace. 


Basically, we need to learn to be content with where we are in our lives and embrace. Now for a few scriptures that really help me. 


For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for your woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope. -Jeremiah 29:11

There is an appointed time for everything,

and a time for every affair under the heavens.

A time to give birth, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.

A time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to tear down, and a time to build.

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them;

a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.

A time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away.

A time to rend, and a time to sew;

a time to be silent, and a time to speak.

A time to love, and a time to hate; 

A time of war, and a time of peace.

-ECCLESIASTES 3:1-8