We are Weak; He is Strong

"We are his weak little lambs, and he carries us." This is a phrase I have been told a thousand times over, but I never got it. It didn't make sense to me. I am supposed to be able to be strong. I am supposed to be able to handle things on my own. I don't need others. I don't need friends, family, or God. I'm supposed to be able to heal on my own. I'm supposed to be able to deal with my issues and problems on my own. WRONG. I am weak. I am broken. I can't carry my cross on my own. I need my friends, and family, and most importantly my God. Yesterday was my little brother's 17th birthday. He was in a car accident this summer, and it was a bad accident, and he was very lucky. This week I was reflecting on the past year - and it's been a little crazy, and definitely not easy.

My grandpa died, my mom was depressed, I dealt with relationship and tried to force healing. My dad was stationed in Memphis, TN for work, my little brother got in a car accident, my grandma got sick, and 2 of my closest friends discerned a call to do a year of ministry travelling the country, which is beautiful, but so challenging.

The hardest times were my grandpa's death, and holding my mom while she cried because she missed my grandpa, her dad. And my brother's accident, I had to go to the hospital because my dad was in TN and my mom had surgery the morning prior. I thought about how I drove the hospital, and held my brothers hand, as his face was covered in blood, his body had blood everywhere, while he got stitches, and how thankful I was to be able to even hold his hand. I believe the hardest moment was seeing him off in the ambulance. He was going to a big scary hospital, by himself, and there weren't going to be any familiar faces there any time soon. I didn't want to leave him, but I needed to be safe.

In all of these times I was strong. I didn't cry. I didn't "break". I remained calm. I remained peaceful. I loved. I prayed.

I loved my mom when she cried. I loved my brother when he cried, and I held him. I loved them with the love of Christ. The best thing we can do is love!

I prayed for strength. I prayed, and united my sufferings and struggles to Christ, and he strengthened me.

The greatness of our weakness, and the power and strength of our God cannot be expressed in words. We can only pray and wait for the opportunity to realize how weak each one of us truly is, and how strong our God is.