I went to confession about 2 weeks ago, and one of the sins I took was that of jealousy. The priest gave a few pointers after I was done confessing the rest of my sins, but one of the things he really honed in on was the importance of not comparing ourselves, our lives to others - I never realized how much I was doing this, and how much it was affecting my life until it was pointed out to me by this priest.It's so easy to compare ourselves, and our lives to others. I'm just going to share some of the ways I've seen it affect me.
Body image/size - I'm a runner. I run half marathons. I just recently trained for and ran a half marathon, and I was expecting to lose weight when I trained... I ran, and I ate like I always do, I don't think I really even ate more, but I didn't notice a change in my size.. Then I find myself comparing my body to other women who may be skinnier than I am, but don't work out and eat less healthy - not that I'm overweight in the slightest... but I still would feel discouraged.
Running - my speed. I ran in high school, took 2 years off, and picked up running again.. Well in the 2 years that I was off running I slowed down quite a bit. I used to run 8-9:30 minute miles, now I run on average 10-11 minute miles. Yet other people run so much faster than me, and maybe if I trained differently, and ran with people who would push I would run faster, I'm not really sure... but I feel insecure when I run 10:30 minute miles on average because I'm not running fast enough, as fast as other people.
Relationships - okay, you knew this one was coming.. Some of my best friends are in relationships and they are people who I am purely happy for, there has not once been a hint of jealousy that I have experienced because I'm just so happy for all people involved. But then there are other of my friends who are in relationships where I'm like - I just want that.. I want someone to love and to be loved by, I want to share and grow in the selfless love - I ultimately want to be a wife and mother - and my dreams don't go much beyond that. Yes, I love nursing, I absolutely want to do it, but more so than anything else I want to be a wife and mother.
The past - I think we often sit in the present and say "I just wish things could go back to the way they used to be." I know I say this sometimes. We compare our current tough situations to past good/easy situations..
So these are just a few of the ways I saw where comparison has caused me to experience less joy. The question is what to do about it?
1. Pray - pray pray pray pray pray.. we must, must pray. Ask the Lord to help you see the good in your life. Also, pray for those who may be the cause of your jealousy.
3. Distance yourself from the situation if possible.. If there's a friend in a relationship who you are jealous of, keep your distance, or tell your friend that you don't want to talk about the relationship because it's hard on you.
4. Focus on the now. If you're dwelling in the past - look for the good in the situation, and remember the good times, but there is work being done now. Perhaps the Lord is trying to teach you something - look for what he might be teaching you.
5. Scripture - the Lord speaks to us in the silence of our hearts, he speaks to us through scripture. He pours his mercy and love upon us. If you are struggling with body image - turn to the word of God. Find verses that remind you how you are fearfully and wonderfully made, that you are beautiful and there is no blemish within you.
6. Accountability - find an accountability partner. Jesus didn't do things alone, we aren't supposed to go through this life alone either. Talk to a close friend (of the same gender-they'll relate better, I promise), and tell them you're struggling with comparison in area x - work together to come up with a plan to help you stop comparing the situation. Ask them to help you - have them check in on you, ask them to ask you how this particular trial is going.
No comments:
Post a Comment