So my parish has their parish mission this week, I haven't been able to go because Sunday night was too cold and the roads were probably still questionable (basically there was simply no leaving of the house), and tonight I had night class. However, the speaker put in the bulletin a brief summary of his talk and the scripture he was using as well. So, I've been using that for my prayer this week, and it has been quite refreshing to my soul. Today used Mark 5:25-34. I decided to read the scripture first and just see where it went, and then reference the summary as a spark for inspiration if needed. However, the Holy Spirit lead me all on my own.
And there was a woman who had had a flow of blood for twelve years, and who had suffered much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had, and was no better but rather grew worse. She had heard the reports about Jesus, and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his garment. For she said, “If I touch even his garments, I shall be made well.” And immediately the hemorrhage ceased; and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease. And Jesus, perceiving in himself that power had gone forth from him, immediately turned about in the crowd, and said, “Who touched my garments?” And his disciples said to him, “You see the crowd pressing around you, and yet you say, ‘Who touched me?’” And he looked around to see who had done it. But the woman, knowing what had been done to her, came in fear and trembling and fell down before him, and told him the whole truth. And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace, and be healed of your disease.”
"Go in peace and be cured of your affliction" (Mk 5:34).
As mentioned in a previous blog found here, I struggle with seasonal depression. It comes in fits and spurs. The exception cold has been causing me to be more isolated than normal because I prefer to stay home where I can stay warm. In addition to having a hard patch this month, I've had a hard time adjusting my prayer life to my new schedule/semester. And to top things off, today there was an explosion of family drama, that ended up being very hurtful to many people. And after talking to my mom about what was going on I actually sat and just cried for a while (which was actually a good thing, to allow my emotions to happen and let them pass rather than push them aside and stew in them). Needless to say, I'd been feeling a little down, but when I read the line above from Mark I was inspired and reminded of a few things that I just want to share.
Jesus does not want us to be miserable. he wants us to have peace, to have joy. He wants to immerse us in his mercy and grace. As I struggled today, Jesus wished to offer me peace. Yes, we must suffer for the salvation of souls. Suffering is an inevitable part of being a Christian. However, we need to suffer with joy. Jesus is the Divine Physician, and he wishes to heal us of our affliction and offer us peace.
We also need to remember our free will. It is our choice to pick faith and peace, healing and joy or to allow the miseries of the world to consume us.
The woman in the Gospel today chose faith, and Jesus rewarded her. He teaches us that by choosing faith we are given peace and opportunity to be healed from affliction. However, one thing to keep in mind is Jesus may not heal us in the way we want or expect to be healed. He will do what is best for us, for the salvation of our souls, and the souls of those we love. So offer yourself to the Lord, offer your suffering to him, simply knowing that he will work and will heal in the way that is most beneficial to us, even when we don't see it in the moment.
I want to close with a quote from The Imitation of Mary: grace is intensified wherever effort is made. Any effort we make to choose faith, to choose Jesus is rewarded with grace. Wherever you are at in your faith journey, offer whatever it is that you can to the Lord to allow him to begin working in your heart and in your life, and you will see a difference that will cause you to continue to return to him.
God bless! Pax in Christi
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