Why do People put up with me?

I was talking with a friend the other day and she asked me "Do you ever wonder why people put up with you?" My response was "on a regular basis" So often I find myself wondering why people 'put up with me', why they deal with my stress, anxiety, fear, anger, need to vent, inability to love well, selfish tendencies, etc.

After this conversation I started to think about this question we so often ask ourselves. What does this question really mean? Why do we ask ourselves this all the time.

When we ask ourselves 'why do people put up with me' we are really asking 'why do people love me?' Why do people love me when I'm such a failure? I'm selfish, and so often think only of me and what will make me happy. I'm unloving. When I'm tired you probably shouldn't talk to me. I complain all the time, especially about school. I have anxiety, and struggle with depression sometimes. I am filled with pride.

We each see our own imperfections so clear to us in each moment of each day. I can go through a day and point out each time I messed up in being a 'good' Christian to you, but I won't. I see my imperfections, and struggle to love myself; therefore, I wonder how any other person can possibly love me.

So why do we think this way? Why do we feel like people shouldn't love us?

"Finally, all of you, be of one mind, sympathetic, loving toward one another, compassionate, humble." 
-1 Peter 3:8

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." 
-1 Corinthians 13:7

"For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another." -Galatians 5:13

This is only a small bit of what Christ tells us through the bible. Christ calls us to love one another, deeply, selflessly. That is why our friends 'put up with us'. So what must be the root of the question other than that of fear. Fear of being unwanted, unloved. Fear that causes us to push others away from us. Fear that causes us to draw away from love. Fear of being tossed aside, when our friends grow weary in loving us. Fear that causes us to see the imperfections of ourselves shine so powerfully that we forget how to see the beauty in ourselves. 

We are each children of God, beloved by Him, made perfect in his image. As I was thinking and praying  about this Psalm 139 kept coming to mind. 

"Lord, you have probed me, you know me: you know when I sit and I stand, you know my thoughts from afar. You sift through all my travels and my rest; with all my ways you are familiar. Even before a word is on my tongue, Lord, you know it all. ... You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother's womb." -Psalm 139:1-4, 13 (I really encourage to read the whole psalm, it is one of my favorites, and most pivotal in me growing into the woman I am now)

The Lord formed us, He knows us, knows us well - actually better than we know ourselves. Because of this He also knows our needs, and places certain people in our lives for this reason - to love us, and love us well. 

When we allow our fears to consume us, our fears of being unloved, unwanted, disliked, forgotten, despised we cannot serve Christ as he asks of us. When we are consumed by what others think of us, and are convinced we are unlovable we cannot love Christ. 

We love the people in our lives each day, we see the beauty in them. We are able to look past the imperfections of those around us and love them; therefore, we must also do this for ourselves.

Each time you ask yourself "why do people even put up with me?" push that thought aside. Recognize your imperfection, but strive to look past and see the beauty. I know I am so often amazed when people say kind things about me because it's so often a challenge for me to see the good myself. Remember, you're not the only one feeling this way, and seek out someone who can help to lift you fallen spirits. Lastly, we have a God of mercy, a God of love, a God of forgiveness - though we fail him every day, he loves us still. Let us Christ for his mercy and love, and ask him to help us be merciful and forgiving towards ourselves. 

"I have strength for all things through Him who empowers me." Philippians 4:13

In Christ, 
Amber 


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