This week has been interesting, in that every day I looked through my schedule, my agenda, my to do list, whatever you want to call it and had that "when am I even going to breathe" feeling. I kept thinking to myself, this only week 2, I can't do this the whole semester. I'll be having a melt down the end of next week at this rate. Then I got out of both labs early on Tuesday giving me an opportunity to eat my pb&j in more than a 5 minute window and giving time to sit in a quiet coffee shop with my pumpkin spice latte and a notebook to just write, and process through a lot of my thoughts. Then Wednesday, well that day was just crazy, and I wasn't feeling good so I just went to bed around 6:30.... So come Thursday morning, I'm slightly panicked because I didn't read over any of my labs or study for any of my quizzes that day...uh-oh. So I go to lab and just take it as it is...well turns out for anatomy lab there wasn't really any pre-reading that needed to be done, and for microbiology lab the professor changed the lab we were doing, and my quizzes for both labs were easy. Praise the Lord! I got out of lab early again, and was took the opportunity of this free time to go to confession and take my prayer time. Now, as I had previously stated - this week was one of those "go go go" weeks, so when I sat down in the quiet church to take my prayer time, I had this urge to buzz through this time of day that I was "giving to God" so I could move onto the next thing. It was like I just wanted to be able to check that off my to-do list for the day. Which is definitely not the approach to be taking with our prayer time.
During this time I felt the Lord just moving in my heart to sit in silence. Someone was telling me the other day there was parishioner at their church who went to daily mass and afterwards would just sit in silence for long periods of time. One day the priest asked the man what he was doing, and he said I look at Him, and He looks back at me. This person literally just took time each day in silence with Jesus, before the alter, where he wasn't talking or reading or anything, he was just present. This really struck me.
We need to just be. If we're feeling stressed, if we're feeling overwhelmed, if we're feeling like we just need to rush from thing to thing to thing to thing, and it almost seems as if we just can't even breathe, then we need to pause. What needs to give? Where do I need to remove something to lift the weight off my shoulder? This is what I have been evaluating, and reflecting on this week, and there's not much I can do to have an immediate fix to my problem, and the Lord sees this. Therefore, He has been providing little opportunities for me each day. They're his little gifts to me.
Like Tuesday, I was released from lab early enough to have a coffee date with myself. Thursday he provided me with an opportunity to be present with him in the Eucharist, and gave me an unexpected gift of an easy lab day. Our Lord knows us better than we know ourselves, and for this we shall give thanks. In each moment of our lives there is an opportunity for us to give thanks. Let us give thanks, and praise God for the little things.
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