We're all Sinners

Lk 17:1-6:
Jesus said to his disciples,
"Things that cause sin will inevitably occur,
but woe to the one through whom they occur.
It would be better for him if a millstone were put around his neck
and he be thrown into the sea
than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin.
Be on your guard!
If your brother sins, rebuke him;
and if he repents, forgive him.
And if he wrongs you seven times in one day
and returns to you seven times saying, "I am sorry,"
you should forgive him."

And the Apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith."
The Lord replied, "If you have faith the size of a mustard seed,
you would say to this mulberry tree,
'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you."




Today's Gospel struck me with the reminder we are all imperfect, thus we should all be merciful towards one another. This year I moved out of my parent's house and into dorms, got a job, go to school full time, and make time for social things as well. I've been trying to do it all, as one may say. Anxiety and depression are a part of my struggle, my cross this time of year, and this year has been worse than in the past so far. Last year, it wasn't too bad. It did cause me to break up with my boyfriend at the time, but not as bad as this year. So when I had an anxiety attack last week it was really easy for me to be hard on myself, and to attempt analyzing what was causing and to ask how did I mess up this time? What did I do wrong? 
I wanted to blame myself, but really God just wanted me to give this suffering as a sacrifice to him. 


Friday I talked with my friend Nicole about my anxiety and what was going on, she reminded me that there is nothing wrong with having a simple prayer life. Sunday, when I finally made it to mass, the priest said in his homily, how we are to strive to live for the kingdom of God. As long as we try, as long as we have faith, and as long as we are giving all that we can give to serve the Kingdom, the Lord will be pleased. 


I had to be reminded when time for judgement comes the Lord won't look at me and be like you failed this chemistry exam, you skipped class this many times, you did poorly on this quiz; rather, he will look at me and see you loved this person well, by staying up late you helped this person, by offering this anxiety to me you saved this soul. He will ask how well we loved his people, not how well we succeed by worldly standards. 


May we always remember each of us is imperfect, forgive one another of our mistakes, and seek to love our God and others above all things. 


God bless! 

Jesus Wants All of Us

Tonight I was partaking in an event called One Gospel. It's put on by Saint Paul's Outreach on OSU's campus. We hear a young adult give a talk - tonight we talked about how Jesus calls us each by name, with all faults and flaws, He wants us just as we are. After the talk we respond in prayer. Tonight's talk concluded with a call to be jerked out of our complacency, and out of our daily routines and schedules, and to seek Jesus. We respond by singing praise and worship - to glorify our great God.

It struck me, while we were singing Our God by Chris Tomlin , that God shines his light in all parts of our hearts.
Lets be real, and stop pretending everything is perfect: we all have our brokenness. We have all messed up. We all have the 'junk' drawer, or skeletons in the closet. We have dark spots on our hearts. However, Jesus shines his light there - in our junk draw, in our closet, on our dark spots, our imperfections. He made us perfect. He loves us. He wants all of us.

Jesus doesn't just want the pieces we think are good enough to give him. He wants all of us. Jesus wants the brokenness. He wants the hurts we've felt when our parents fight. He wants the hurts we experience when we feel judged. He wants the pain we feel when we are humiliated in class and among friends. He wants the part of us marked with sin - whatever sin that is - whether it's the Lord's name in vain, premarital sex, gossip, sloth, drunkenness, or not loving someone as much as we should. He wants to heal us.

Jesus desires to chisel away the scarred, broken, imperfect areas of our lives and make them new. May we have the humility to recognize our faults and give them to Jesus. May we let Jesus care for all of us.

Rooted

‎"If a soul is not rooted in the divine will the soul is subject to being blown around and away from the mountain of holiness. When this occurs, many others are affected because each life involves other souls intended to benefit from that life. This situation is what Jesus is attempting to remedy through the renewal. We all have a role to play in this renewal and that role is clearly marked out in our vocation." -Climbing the Mountain




For months now, I have heard friends talk about being rooted in Christ. I came across this tonight, after living in college dorms a little over a month, and having a few emotional things on my heart, this really struck home tonight. We must be rooted in Christ because we have a purpose to help forward the kingdom of God. We must seek to be fed, so that we can be light to those who don't know Christ. We must, as student, as mother, as friend, as educator, as daughter, as sister seek to live in and with and for Christ so that we can help bring others to Christ and further the kingdom of heaven! Praise be to the God who saves. May we serve him, amidst all trials. 

Perfect.

On this day 2 years ago, I was born again. This morning my friend texted me saying "Happy baptism day!!! This is like more exciting than your birthday.  The day your life changed forever and you came into the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church." Woah. Today I've been Catholic for two years. That's crazy!

Last night was a rough night. I had my first exam today, and chemistry lab, and I've been fighting a cold, and so I slept, and if I wasn't sleeping I was at work, in class, or doing homework, so my prayer was put aside a little. Finally, I settled down and decided all that I had left to do was pray. As I logged off and closed my computer I saw this verse: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future." Jeremiah 29:11

 How truly does our Lord have the perfect plan. Four years ago I never would've guessed this is where I would be and what I would be doing.

May we always trust in the Lord's unending mercy. May we always trust he has a perfect plan, meant for our good and our success. May we continually turn to Jesus and seek his guidance.

Total Surrender

‎"Man is incapable of giving life by himself. He can only be understood starting from God. It is our relationship with Him that gives consistency to our humanity and makes our lives good and right,” Pope Benedict XVI

Life is insane. It gets the way. We feel anxious. There's school, work, getting into school, paying for school, passing classes, keeping scholarships, adjusting to new living circumstances, and more. Everyone's life is different. There are new relationships forming, old ones fading away, and some continually growing ever stronger. But what we must remember is to surrender.

On Sunday I was exhausted, so I slept in and went to the noon mass. I began to feel anxious. I was thinking about school, a lunch date, work, etc. Then I stopped and I looked up at the crucifix. What great love Jesus has for us, his precious children. I realized I needed to surrender all my stresses to God. I stared at the crucifix for a long time. It was a moment when I couldn't take my eyes away. Jesus did that for me. He wants to help me in carrying my own cross, and I need to let him. I don't need to be strong. I don't need to carry my cross alone. It Jesus that I need. It Jesus that satisfies my every need. It is Jesus who fills me. It is Jesus who strengthens me. It is Jesus who loves me unconditionally. 

“It is the gift of your whole heart that God most desires, a heart without pretense or posturing, a heart in all its honesty, beauty, passion, and brokenness, a heart pulsing with love, joy, sadness, delight, doubt, pain, anguish, even anger. True love expresses all emotions, and true love—God’s true love for you—accepts them.”

May we always strive to make a total to surrender to God and unite our cross to him. 

We are Weak; He is Strong

"We are his weak little lambs, and he carries us." This is a phrase I have been told a thousand times over, but I never got it. It didn't make sense to me. I am supposed to be able to be strong. I am supposed to be able to handle things on my own. I don't need others. I don't need friends, family, or God. I'm supposed to be able to heal on my own. I'm supposed to be able to deal with my issues and problems on my own. WRONG. I am weak. I am broken. I can't carry my cross on my own. I need my friends, and family, and most importantly my God. Yesterday was my little brother's 17th birthday. He was in a car accident this summer, and it was a bad accident, and he was very lucky. This week I was reflecting on the past year - and it's been a little crazy, and definitely not easy.

My grandpa died, my mom was depressed, I dealt with relationship and tried to force healing. My dad was stationed in Memphis, TN for work, my little brother got in a car accident, my grandma got sick, and 2 of my closest friends discerned a call to do a year of ministry travelling the country, which is beautiful, but so challenging.

The hardest times were my grandpa's death, and holding my mom while she cried because she missed my grandpa, her dad. And my brother's accident, I had to go to the hospital because my dad was in TN and my mom had surgery the morning prior. I thought about how I drove the hospital, and held my brothers hand, as his face was covered in blood, his body had blood everywhere, while he got stitches, and how thankful I was to be able to even hold his hand. I believe the hardest moment was seeing him off in the ambulance. He was going to a big scary hospital, by himself, and there weren't going to be any familiar faces there any time soon. I didn't want to leave him, but I needed to be safe.

In all of these times I was strong. I didn't cry. I didn't "break". I remained calm. I remained peaceful. I loved. I prayed.

I loved my mom when she cried. I loved my brother when he cried, and I held him. I loved them with the love of Christ. The best thing we can do is love!

I prayed for strength. I prayed, and united my sufferings and struggles to Christ, and he strengthened me.

The greatness of our weakness, and the power and strength of our God cannot be expressed in words. We can only pray and wait for the opportunity to realize how weak each one of us truly is, and how strong our God is.

I Trust in You

My Jesus, my God
I place my trust in You

You showed your great love for me
By your death on the cross

You provide for my needs
With the gift of your body and blood

You strengthen me through all my struggles
With your precious gifts of grace

You are my rock
On which I stand firm

You love me unconditionally
And wrap me in your arms of mercy

My Jesus, my God
I trust in you.