Give Thanks 2013

I've been quiet the last few weeks, really enjoying my Christmas break, but this evening, I'm really starting to get fired up about a couple of things that I am exceptionally passionate about. One of them is joy. I see so much suffering in my work, and in the field (nursing) that I want to go into, that I know I can only get through life relying on strength of Christ, and seeking joy in my day to day life. And as I have been scrolling my facebook newsfeed I see these posts "well 2013 is coming to a close, it was a crappy year, I hope 2014 is better." I could say that, but I don't want to. I don't want to dwell in the negative aspects of my life.

In October of 2012 I got a headache, it was nothing out of the ordinary, until 2 months later I still had it. From Oct 2012 until April of 2013 I struggled and fought with a chronic headache. That equates to five and a half months of chronic pain. I slept a lot. I went to physical therapy. I lost weight unnecessarily. But I sought Christ, I sought joy. I learned more than I ever thought possible. So I want to take time to reflect on the good of 2013.

• I found healing from my headaches
• I was able to attend daily mass for 5 months and frequent confession and adoration
•  I got  a job in a hospital
• I experienced healing in my relationship with my mom 
• I experienced healing in my relationship with a dear friend 
• I started going back to school full time. 
• I stopped needing 12 hours of sleep a day
• I got all A's my first semester back 
• I learned the importance of taking care of myself 
• I learned to find joy in the little things in life
• coffee steaming in the sun
• sun shining in through a window
• bubbles while doing dishes
• warm hugs
• I learned to find God in the daily grunge of life. 
• I learned about what it means to me to be a woman
• I was blessed with a wonderful small group 
• I found a ministry that I love doing
• I discovered my passion for female ministry
• I found how much I love caring for patients
• I realized more of my own gifts and talents. 

So I ask you - what are you grateful for? What made 2013 a good year for you? How will you rejoice? What has the Lord taught you and how have you grown?

On Suffering

I've been wanting to do this for a while, but lacked motivation and time.. since my semester ended yesterday I now have rested and have some time to write.

It seems I've done a lot of reflection on suffering in my life, and particularly in my walk with God. As you may know, I converted. Very early in my conversion, before my baptism actually, I experienced a great wound of my heart. I had been dating a guy and allowed him to become my whole world, when we broke up I was a mess, and alone, aside from God. I was suffering on a very emotional level. Because I felt like I was suffering a lot, I reflected on the sorrowful mysteries of the rosary more than any other. A year later my grandpa was dying of cancer, he died in September of 2010. As my mom was suffering, and he was suffering, I often found myself reflecting on the sorrowful mysteries. Sorrow and suffering seemed to be a very prominent part of my life. I am convinced that in those times the Lord really gave me a special heart and a special grace for suffering, but it has also taken me some time to learn how this grace helps make me who I am, and how to make it work, but still live a life of joy and hope. I remember meeting with the pastor at my parish one day and telling him how I was struggling and he told me I was lacking hope. Ever since that day hope has become a very special virtue. You see, hope and suffering/sorrow go hand in hand. You cannot endure suffering without the hope of the resurrection.

I said I believe the Lord has given me a special heart for suffering, and this I believe for many reasons. One of the greatest ones is my vocation as a nurse. I knew all my life that I wanted to spend all of my years helping other people. That's why I chose nursing as my education path. One of my roommates is also going into the medical field... actually I have many friends who have hearts for those who are sick and suffering. We often have wonderful conversations about suffering. They always have something to say that I never really had thought about... - anyway - I work in a hospital, and am a patient sitter, so I have the most one to one contact with a single patient in a four hour shift. I have recently had a couple patients who suffering very much so, and I came home and was talking to my roommate and we got on the topic of suffering. What I realized is that in working at a hospital, as a nurse, we see people at what could often times be considered their worst. Sometimes they can't feed themselves, or they can't talk, or walk, or even let us know they need to use the bathroom. Sometimes they desperately want to end their lives, or sometimes their personality is completely altered because of their injury or illness. It's really heart breaking sometimes...and there's also their family - who has been worried about them, exhausting themselves by spending every waking, free moment at the hospital.. You truly experience people at their lower points in life, and you have to be able to handle it.

I always say I couldn't be a nurse if I didn't have my faith. If I didn't have God, if I didn't believe in something greater than myself, and this world, if I didn't something to offer me hope amidst the suffering I see day in and day out, I could not bear through this life, and I definitely could not respond well to my call to be a nurse.

So, the other day when I was working I was on a really sad case, where my heart just broke, and I wished there was something more that I could do to heal my patient, and I was sitting there trying to come up with something to do, I decided to pray a rosary. Lo and behold, it was a Tuesday so the mysteries of the day were the sorrowful, perfect. Now I have this really cool book that in the back of it has all the mysteries of the rosary, scripture to go with the mystery, and the fruit of the specific mystery. I used this resource when i prayed my rosary for my patient that night, and I really reflected on the fruits of the mystery..

The three that stood out to me were courage, patience, and perseverance.

The third sorrowful mystery: The Crowning with Thorns Matt 27:28-29
fruit:courage

The fourth sorrowful mystery: The Carrying of the Cross Jn 19:17
fruit:patience

The fifth sorrowful mystery: The Crucifixion Lk 23:46
fruit:perseverance

Courage, patience, and perseverance; these three fruits are so important when one is suffering, but even more so beautiful to think of wearing the crown of thorns as courageous - the soldiers and people were mocking Jesus, yet he courageously bore the crown of thorns. We suffer, I suffer with awful headaches, yet I courageously bear my day, wear my crown of thorns, and continue on to follow the will of the Father. The Carrying of the Cross creates patience, often when we are suffering we are healing in some way, and that requires patience. When Jesus carried the cross he fell 3 times, he had to accept help from someone who did not want to give it, but he did it, and followed through as committed, with patience. Patience with himself, with those around him, and with his situation. Perseverance - this can be a hard one. Suffering is rarely short lived, it is often an extended time frame, it may get worse as time goes on, it requires one to persevere, to find the strength to keep going through each day, moment by moment. Jesus persevered through the greatest suffering of all. He persevered as he died on a cross, he was there, hanging and praying, just waiting to be united with his Father.

Praise the Lord for his goodness, for his grace that he offers in times of suffering. This time of year, many people begin to struggle with seasonal depression. The lack of sunshine, the colder weather, etc all adds up to reduce serotonin levels in the brain, one begins to feel anti-social, perhaps struggle with feelings of loneliness or being forgotten. Count this as a suffering the Lord has given you. I encourage you to really pray, and perhaps even pray these sorrowful mysteries, Jesus will give us special graces to endure the suffering, the cross we are being given. He doesn't let us go at it alone. Praise him!

Finals: Crafts, Cooking, and Baking

Normally, this is the week of the semester that I get less sleep than I have throughout the semester, stay up until 2 am finishing papers, projects, and studying for exams. It's normally one of the most stressful weeks of the year. This semester, not so. Wednesday I went for a run and hung out with my dear friend Maggie... she's my person, if you don't understand what I'm referring to click here. Then I came home and took a nap, it was delightful. Thursday I went to class, gave a presentation, went to daily mass, did a majority of my Christmas shopping (this is a huge deal, I don't remember the last time I did my Christmas presents before Dec 23), then I came home and decided I wanted to cook and bake. SO I scrolled pinterest, picked a soup recipe, and a cookie recipe and hit the grocery store. I came home and cooked buffalo chicken chili and while that spent time simmering I baked peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies. Then I served 2 of my 3 housemates dinner and dessert. It was such a wonderful feeling to be able to serve them. Today, it is snowing here in good 'ol Columbus town OH - and they have been anticipating this weather since Wednesday. My university actually cancelled classes this morning because most of the students are commuters, which is funny because campus "reopened" at noon, but the snow started about 1 pm.... makes a lot of sense, right? Well, I'm not complaining actually, I slept in and relaxed this morning. Then I worked out. And watched some more tv when I got home. But then I decided I needed to start working on a Christmas present project. My mom and I sometimes go on these kicks where we make fleece blankets, so she's making some, and I'm making some for Christmas this year. So I decided to get started on that. So I have spent my evening listening to Michael Buble holiday pandora station and crafting.. quite a delightful night. I actually had to take a break to rest my poor wrist (and I needed to eat food), but ultimately, I wanted to share with y'all my adventures, and my recipes.

Buffalo Chicken Chili
http://www.traceysculinaryadventures.com/2013/10/buffalo-chicken-chili.html#.UqJkLPRDua9

I used this recipe, but I want to change/add a few things. I would add some beans - probably black beans because those are my favorite, but maybe a can of white beans too. I would add edemame beans, maybe a sweet potatoe.. and instead of ground chicken I would could a chicken breast and then shred it to still get the chili texture, it would be healthier to use lean chicken breast..

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chunk Cookies
http://www.jasonandshawnda.com/foodiebride/archives/13276/

Add another stick of butter and these are delightful!

No Sew Fleece Blankets

Supplies:

• yard stick
• 2 sheets fleece fabric
• really good scissors

For fleece, the yards vary depending on how big you want your blanket to be. My mom and I are making blankets for adult men, and we want the blankets to be big enough to cover their bodies, so we got 2.5 yards. If you want it for girls you could probably use 2 yards, toddlers 1.5 yards is suggested. 

1. lay the fabric on top of each other and trim edge so they are as close to even as you can get them, they don't have to be perfect. 
2. next cut 6X6 squares out of each corner, it will make your life 1000x easier, trust me. I didn't do that the first time I made these blankets and the corners are just awkward. 
3. then lay your yard stick at the 6 in point where you cut your square out, and cut 1 in strips across the edges

1. loop your strips, or form a knot using the loop method. This worked a lot better as well, my first blanket I just tied the strips, it makes a cleaner edge if you loop-knot the ends

1. I did one side entirely, and then took a break because my hand hurt.. 

if you want pictures, I found my method here. 

That's all folks! Happy crafting, cooking, and baking. Keep up for more of Holiday shenanigans - i have more free time this break than ever before, so anticipate more project and cooking posts!

Modesty...Once More

This a topic that frequently comes up in my life, and that I am quite passionate about, we need to dress modestly for reason a, b, and c - but I want to address another aspect of modesty today.

Okay - let's cover the basics.
cover your B's
boobs, butt, back, belly.
These areas should be covered when you're dressed. When you bend over or reach up for something your back or belly should not show, nor your crack (nobody wants to see that anyway) One reason, frequently addressed, for women to dress modestly to help guard our brothers purity, but there is so much more to modesty than guarding our brothers purity. I 100% absolutely agree that it is vitally important to help our brothers in their walk with God, by dressing modestly, to help them in controlling their minds, and leaving a sense to mystery. But then there is also helping our sisters.. so many people in our society, especially women, struggle with eating disorders. When we dress is ways that accentuate our thinness, or our bodies in general, that are quite revealing, other women can see that and it can cause them to act on their temptation to starve themselves, or to binge and purge... or to just binge (a recently developed eating disorder also known as closet eating) - and again, there is only so much we can do in helping our sisters, because there is the aspect of them having control over their thoughts and actions.

But there is another part to modesty - modesty in character, or in behavior. This is one aspect that is frequently overlooked, and almost never addressed, but when talking with some of my high schoolers over the weekend this aspect of modesty came up... what about our behavior? What if we're dressing in modest clothing, but flirting with every guy we meet, and hanging around them excessively, and craving attention from them but also acting on that attention? Or what if we're talking about our appearance and one girl is really insecure about her appearance and another is like meh I just don't care, I'm beautiful the way I am and I know it - which is a good thing to be confidant in yourself, because these words are so unbelievably true - each of us is absolutely stunning just the way we are, but many of us struggle to see this, and struggle to believe it to ring true for us. Now, I am guilty - I have made that comment in a group of girls - the I just don't care comment... I do what I want.. I eat all these calories and have been the same size for x amount of years... whatever kinda prideful comment you can come up with... but the point is it could come off as offensive, or challenging to take in from a girl who struggles with her image, and feels as if she's not beautiful...

In captivating, they talk about a women unveiling beauty, our outer beauty comes from within. A woman that is in love with God, that knows her maker, that is confidant in who she is as daughter of God and woman, is one who is most beautiful. The most beautiful women I know are those who are absolutely in love with God. He consoles their broken hearts, and heals their wounds, he satisfies their every need. There are characteristics of a woman - confidence, gentle and quiet spirit, these characteristics allow a woman to be 100% who she is as woman, and completely beautiful, but they also address the modesty aspect of character, of speech.

So my dear friends, I encourage you to work on modesty in your dress, but also in your character. Most of all, hand your heart over to our Lord. He will satisfy your every need, your every desire, and with him you will become your most beautiful self, and you will desire to dress modestly, because you will realize what a gift your body is and that it is a temple of the Holy Spirit, that God dwells within you, he has a home in your heart, and that is a treasure, a gift meant to be protected, hidden. Think of a gift, we buy them for our family and hide them because we don't want it to be seen before it's time to give it, and we have pretty wrapping paper and bows that we use to hide the gift as well, and then we open the gift to unveil the beauty, the gift.. Think of your body as a gift meant for your spouse, and keep it hidden, protected, beautiful, secret - but you can be alluring in a modest way - showing your beauty, with a smile, with your tender heart.

Alright, I'm beginning to rant now, so I'll stop there. God bless you all!

Lord, I am not Worthy

Today's gospel comes from Matt 8:5-11, it says “Lord, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof;
only say the word and my servant will be healed."

Jesus responds to this statement commending the man for his faith. The centurion knew the power God has to heal, but I want to pause on this statement for a moment - I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof. Every week at mass, before receiving communion we say this prayer, asking the Lord to have mercy on us and forgive us for our sins. But what I wonder is why did the centurion not want Jesus to enter under his roof? Was afraid? Was he hiding something? What was holding him back from experiencing the full presence of Christ in his home? 

Each week we pray "Lord I am not worthy that you shouldered under my roof but only say the word and my soul shall be healed." But how often are we not fully letting The Lord into our hearts?  I know we all are hurt from experiences in our life, so what is it that we think is too messy or too much for God to handle? What is holding you back from knowing him more?

As I was praying about this I realized for me it came down to confidence. The lord has shown me how I was lacking confidence in my identity as his daughter outside of my catholic community of friends, so I asked my small group to pray for me in this area of my life and it has already bore much fruit but I know that I am still held back in my relationship with Christ and I realized that I also am not confident and am not trusting that he does have a perfect plan, I am not allowing the words of Jeremiah 29:11 to ring true, and I fear that my hopes and seams will not come true, that the desires of my heart will not be granted, that God will not come through. 

So now that I know this, what can I do? I can pray against it - I can pray against this fear and trust in gods providence and in his grace.

I encourage all of you to reflect on your life, what's holding you back in your relationship with Christ? What keeping you from knowing the fullness of his love? 

Happy advent friends! Well wishes as we joyfully anticipate the coming of the child Jesus!

Modesty Practicals

here are many questions about practically living out true modesty.
To list a few:

• Why do all the immodest girls get all the attention?
• I’ve heard guys are “visual,” how does that work with modesty?
• Can I dress modestly and attractively? 
• I don’t have the perfect body/personality/interests/abilities/etc. - how will I attract a guy?

Before I jump into these questions, let’s quickly recap what living modesty is: (1) respecting and protecting yourself and others, (2) revealing your God-given feminine beauty (3) inspiring love

I found this article tonight and really loved it, and wanted to share it with others. I posted the beginning of the article, click here and it will take you to read the rest. 

Break my Heart for What Breaks Yours

Break my heart for what breaks yours. Sitting at work today my heart broke for my patient. Talking to your people who are trying to find their path in life and don't know what to do sometimes breaks my heart. Young children in poor homes breaks my heart. For so many things in this world my heart aches, and y only response can be to pray. The RN told me my patients story this afternoon and my heart broke for her. I wanted to ease her suffering, take away her pain and for her to be filled with peace. A young girl sought my advice in relationships and others hard topics last night and it broke my heart to hear her struggles. I love her so much and am so grateful she sought me out, but none the less my heart broke for her, for her confusion. 

Today I prayed the sorrowful mysteries and as I was praying I could only think break my heart for what breaks yours. Jesus gives us hearts filled with empathy, compassion, mercy and love. He fills us with these things, so as we see and experience the suffering of the world we can pour out these things to those who suffer, and when we run dry he fills us again. 

Jesus, breaks heart for what breaks yours. Open my heart and my eyes to the sufferings of the world, and I can help, how I can serve, how I can love. 

Today I learned a valuable lesson. As I sit with patient tonight i was watching the RN's do their job and longing for the day I do that, but I also realize Jesus has placed me in my current position right now to help make me a better nurse, to open my eyes to the suffering, and to being compassionate with my patients. He is giving me opportunity to love and grow where I'm at. He's teaching me the importance of beig present and attentive to my patient and using my spare time to love those who maybe have no family coming to visit them or who might be in an unsafe or unloved situation. 

Break my heart for what breaks yours, O Lord, and help me to shine your light wherever I may go. 

How to Win the Culture War: Peter Kreeft

To win any war, the three most necessary things to know are: (1) that you are at war, (2) who your enemy is, and (3) what weapons or strategies can defeat him.

You cannot win a war (1) if you simply sew peace banners on a battlefield, (2) if you fight civil wars against your allies, or (3) if you use the wrong weapons.

Here is a three point checklist for the culture wars.

read more here

Beauty Flows From a Heart at Rest

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of good jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit." 1 Peter 3:3-4

Beauty comes from the inner parts of us, a heart at rest. None of us are perfect, and most of us are still searching and striving for this beauty, we have yet to learn, to realize that a woman who is truly beautiful has he heart at rest in Chrjst, and she is confidant in her identity as daughter of God.

This is a direct quote from captivating, a book discussing the heart and soul of a woman. "To have a gentle and quiet spirit is to have a heart of faith, a heart that trusts in God, a spirit that has been quieted by his love and filled with his peace. Not a heart that is striving and restless. A woman in her glory, a woman of beauty, is a woman who is not striving to become beautiful or worthy or enough. She knows in her quiet center where God dwells that he finds her beautiful, has deemed her worthy, and in him, she is enough. In fact, the only thing getting in the way of being fully captivating and enjoyed is our striving." 

 Now this is beautiful - to know that we are God's and to have a heart at rest in him is what makes us most beautiful. My dear sisters, I encourage you to seek our God, to seek a deeper relationship with him, and to learn your identity is in him, and have confidence in that identity as his daughter. 

The Lord has recently revealed to me that I was lacking confidence - confidence in my identity as his daughter. In my circle of friends, in my community I was confident in my identity, but step outside that safe zone and I was terrified. I am terrified to be judged for who i am. That people may not like me if they know I'm Christian. This weekend I was on a retreat and we talked about womanhood and being a woman, perfectly lining up with this realization that I lack this confidence that is so crucial to being a Christian. A friend shared a beautiful image of Mary with me - Mary's fearlessness. She went into a world, pregnant knowing she would be ridiculed for being with child before she wed, but she fearlessly carried Jesus in her womb, and gave her yes. Be it done unto me according to thy word. Lk 1:38

Mary, intercede for me, intercede for all women that we may emulate your virtue of fearlessness in our identity as daughters of God. Help to us say yes to the will Christ, and to tespond with joy and gratitude to the promptings of Christ in our hearts. 

Imperfectly Content

I had such a good conversation with one of my good friends this morning that I just had to share it - we were discussing the subject of contentment. One of our points was that you're ready to begin your vocation until you are content where you are presently in your life. By content we meant that Jesus satisfies you. One of my dear friends and mentors amber has said to me repeatedly "I love my husband, but he is not the one who satisfies me. It is Jesus who satisfies the desires of my heart." So when I say that we need to be content with our present lives, that is the contentment I am referring to. 

Now what was so good about our conversation? The idea of being imperfectly content. In our 20 somethings it tends to feel like dating and relationships are just constantly plaguing us and eaceh week it seems the news is which friend got engaged this week.. Which is wonderful and I am so happy for all of my friends, but there are also plenty of us who are single - so what are we supposed to do? 

Love Jesus - obviously. But also ensure that Jesus is our satisfaction - he is the only one who satisfies each and every desire of my heart. But that's not to say that we should never long for a relationship. That is normal. That is good. I would be concerned if someone isn't desiring a relationship. It says in the catechism that we desire to love and be loved - thus a desire for a relationship is normal. 

So what do we do when we have this desire for a relationship? We offer it to Jesus. Let's say 95% of the time I love being single. I love having my free time, and the ability to do what I want with my time, without having to seriously consider another person and fitting them into the equation. But what a of the 5% of the time that I long for a relationship - that's okay, and perfectly normal, so in those moments I need to give that discontentment to my Lord. We won't always be perfectly content exactly where we are in our lives, but if we don't learn to be content we will always be left longing for more. And if we don't learn to seek Jesus in those moments of discontentment then we will find ourselves dwelling in those moments - and that's where we need to accept our imperfection caused by our human nature and imperfection. 

So here's to embracing our imperfections and trusting the Lord and having confidence in his plan for us!

#Respect4Selfie

One of my friends joined a community that made an event and on Thursday this past week people were encouraged to post photos of themselves - natural, beautiful photos - meant to reveal and show our natural, God-given beauty.

This sparked a thought for me, and I was inspired, all for it.

In this world we are constantly plagued with images of women who are too skinny to be healthy, have flawless skin, perfect hair, etc. Women compare. We compare ourselves and our lives to everyone and everything. One of our greatest faults, I think, is how we compare - and our response to our comparison.

24 million people in the U.S. suffer from an eating disorder of some form.The sad fact is, that most people are so concerned with what others will think, they will do anything.

We are constantly disrespecting our bodies. We eat bad food, and then exercise for hours on end. We starve ourselves out of the fear of getting fat, or because we think we're fat and need to lose weight - when really a size 0 falls of our waist.

The fact of the matter is we no longer respect ourselves. We no longer see our self-worth, or our dignity. We are plagued by images and ideas of what we should look like and what we should wear. Now, I am not discrediting the eating disorders are in fact a mental illness and need to be treated as any other disease, but I am saying that we are seeing more and more of this disease because of what society and media is teaching us. Look at how the clothing has changed - clothes are much more revealing than ever before. How would this not make you insecure?

So why do I support #Respect4Selfie so much? Because of the word respect. Respect yourself. Respect your body, and recognize your God-given beauty, and worth.

You are beautiful. You are loved. You are perfect the way you are.

You are all beautiful my beloved, and there is no blemish within you. -Song of songs 4:7

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own. For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body.
-1 Corinithians 6:19-20

Sisters, and brothers who may be reading this too - I implore you - respect your body. Eat a healthy balanced diet, exercise regularly, get enough sleep (at least 6-7 hours), and make time for yourself. Take time to rest, to be. Give your body what it needs - so you can most fully live out your life, and serve our God and our King in all that you do throughout all your life!

Here are a few natural photos -

Our Desire to be Filled

Then the master of the house in a rage commanded his servant, ‘Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in here the poor and the crippled,  the blind and the lame.’ The servant reported, ‘Sir, your orders have been carried out and still there is room.’ The master then ordered the servant, ‘Go out to the highways and hedgerows and make people come in that my home may be filled. Lk 14:21-23


The man, in a rage, commanded the servants to go find people, people of any sort to fill his house. He originally invited people who he wanted to come, to fill his home. Those people rejected him, they declined his invitation. Therefore, he was angry, he was hurt, he was rejected and lonely, and desperately desired to fill his home. Therefore, he sends servants out to find people to fill his home. 

We desperately desire to be filled. Day in and day out we are searching and trying to fill ourselves up, turning anywhere but to God - yet does it not say in scripture "come to me and I will give you life."

Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again; but whoever drinks the water I shall give will never thirst; the water I shall give will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” Jn 4:13-14

I'm currently reading a book called captivating and it talks about women hiding, in these places we hide, we are searching. We are searching for God, we are searching for answers, we are searching for fulfillment. 

I know I turn to many places to try and be fulfilled: social media, friends, ministry, work, school, exercise. Some people turn to drugs, alcohol, pornography, sex, food, endless dating relationships, etc. But when we turn to these things, when we fill our lives with them it is because we are desperately trying to find fulfillment. We are trying to satisfy the craving we have to love and be loved in return. 

My dear friends, the man in the gospel today desperately wanted his house to be full, and just as he wanted to be full, so do we. I encourage all of us to turn to Christ in our desire to be fulfilled. Seek him in your day to day life. When you see yourself checking social media, eating food, desiring a drink, longing for your phone to buzz, reaching out to others, first ask yourself - am I doing this because I am desiring Jesus? Am I trying to fulfill my desire for time with Jesus, something infinite with something finite?
Make Jesus a part of your life. Look for him in your day. Ask yourself: how is Jesus showing me he loves me today?
Jesus, I desperately desire to be filled by you. Fill me up, and further reveal to me the depth of your love for me. May I always seek you first, help me to seek you when I feel lonely, when I long to be satisfied and fulfilled. 


Where are you seeking to satisfy your desire to be full?

A Sunday Reflection

Today's Gospel really struck me, and God once again reminded of his love and presence in my life.

At that time, Jesus came to Jericho and intended to pass through the town. 
Now a man there named Zacchaeus,
who was a chief tax collector and also a wealthy man,
was seeking to see who Jesus was;
but he could not see him because of the crowd,
for he was short in stature. 
So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree in order to see Jesus,
who was about to pass that way.
When he reached the place, Jesus looked up and said,
"Zacchaeus, come down quickly,
for today I must stay at your house." 
And he came down quickly and received him with joy. 
When they all saw this, they began to grumble, saying,
"He has gone to stay at the house of a sinner." 
But Zacchaeus stood there and said to the Lord,
"Behold, half of my possessions, Lord, I shall give to the poor,
and if I have extorted anything from anyone
I shall repay it four times over."
And Jesus said to him,
"Today salvation has come to this house
because this man too is a descendant of Abraham. 
For the Son of Man has come to seek
and to save what was lost." (Lk 19:1-10)

I'm also currently reading Captivating. This is a book about being a woman and how God created woman to be. In this book they explain 3  desires of a woman's heart - 1. to be romanced 2. to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure 3. to unveil beauty are the three. So when I heard the Gospel I was struck by verse 4 "so he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree in order to see Jesus". Zacchaeus desired Jesus so much that he ran and climbed a tree just in order to see him. 

As human we reflect God, the desires of a woman's heart not only are part of who women are, but also reveals to us the desires of God's heart as well. Women desire to be romanced, God also desires to be romanced. Jesus pursued Zacchaeus' heart and when he is running and climbing to see Jesus he is running to his encounter with the Lord - as Father said in mass today he is experiencing his conversion. 

SO my point is - we should all be desiring Jesus as Zacchaeus did. We should be running after him and climbing trees to see him. We should be pursuing him because in this very moment he is pursuing us with all he has and all he is - thus we need to reciprocate this. Jesus desires a relationship with us, and he is already pursuing us, thus we need to begin to pursue him, to seek him out, to allow him to love us and care for us, trusting and knowing that he is the one, the one and only who will satisfy any and every desire of our hearts, for his love is enough for us. 

Praise him! 

God bless & happy Sunday

The Choice: Simple Life or Chaos

Yesterday I went for a run. It was so great, and this week has been so great. I went home early from work, I've actually gotten a substantial amount of sleep, so I'm not feeling ridiculously tired -it's quite glorious actually. But back to my run - I went to Antrim park, which is a little park in Columbus that is attached to the Olentangy trail, which is a paved path that runs through Columbus along the river, and people run, walk, and bike down it. Antrim is one of my favorite parks to run at because there's a pond with a stone path around it, and I love running around the pond, the path is much softer than pavement so it always feels good to run there. Going into my run yesterday I had the intention of running 3 miles. One loop around the pond is 1.2 miles, so I did that and then I started down the trail. As I was running down the trail I took in my surroundings, and this part runs right along 315, which is one of the freeways in Columbus - so on one side of me I had the busy noisy freeway, with cars zipping by rushing from point A to point B. On the other side of me was the woods. The quiet, beautiful, peaceful, blissful woods.  And I was right in the middle of it all. As I looked at this, I realized how we have a choice in our lives. We can choose a simple life, a quiet life, a peaceful life, or we can choose the chaotic life, where we don't have enough time to take care of our bodies.

There is of course a balance between the too. We should fill our lives with good things: school, homework, mass, good friends, prayer, exercise, healthful diets and cooking our meals, but we should not fill our lives so full that we cannot afford to get enough sleep, to take a breath every now and then and just be.

Something the Lord is often teaching me is the importance of just being. If we never take time to just be, we simply do, and do and do and do and go go go. And when we do and go, we get burnt out. We run out of energy. This is not what we want. We want to be able to consistently serve the Lord well, and ensure that our lives always always always bring glory to his name.

So I ask you - which way of life do you choose? one of simplicity, or one of chaos? Will you choose to just be or will you always do?

Remember, if we do not care for ourselves, and our bodies God cannot use us to our fullest potential.

Monday Memo: Identity

Last  night we had our second girls night at youth group. Our first girls night we talked about gratitude, and being thankful for all the beautiful gifts God gives us each and every day of our lives. So this time we decided to talk about God as our ever loving Father, and how our unchanging identity is as his daughters. How beautiful is this - how blessed are we to have a Father who loves us so much. I remember being so struck the first time it really hit me that God created us out of the goodness of his heart. He had absolutely no need to create us, but out of his goodness he created us, and he loves us so much. It gets me every time.

In the gospel today Jesus picked his 12 Apostles. The 12 men he would take under his wing in a special way to form them and build them into leaders of what is now the Christian faith. But before he did this Jesus went off to the mountains to pray.

             Jesus went up to the mountain to pray, and he spent the night in prayer to God. (Lk6:12)

Jesus spent time talking to his Father, to our Father before taking any action. This is how the communicated with each other, that the will of the Father may truly be done. 

As the mere humans we are, prayer is crucial, is vital to who we are, to our Christian identity. This is how we develop a personal and intimate relationship with Christ. This is how we come to know who we are and who we are supposed to be, and what we are supposed to do. Praise him. Praise God for our identity as his daughter, as his son, and for that identity to never, ever be changed. It is the one constant in our lives. God will always be there. Praise him. He is our unchanging source of life, spend time with him this week!

In Christ! 

Monday Memo: Where's Your Treasure?

"For where your heart is there also will your treasure be." Luke12:34

Jesus has been so good to me lately, clearly pursuing my heart and swooning me, sweeping me off my feet and truly showing me how is the one and only who can truly satisfy every desire and longing my heart has for love. 

Today he reminded me of this verse - that where you heart is there also is your treasure. We ought not store up thins on the earth, but spend out lives serving God and loving others so that each person has an opportunity to encounter the love of Christ. And this is how we place our heart, our treasure in the hands of God - by making all we do be for the glory of his name. Pray for each person we encounter, knowing that we crossed their path for a reason. Love each person where they're at - love the sinner, hate the sin. Unite your day and all you do in it to Christ who wants to help you and who is with you. 

Remember, in him is our true home. Jesus, help us find our home in your most sacred heart. 

Monday Memo

Rejoice always. 

Pray without ceasing.

Give thanks always

for it is the will of God

in Christ Jesus.

 - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Jesus is constantly speaking to us, and seeking to win over our hearts. The past few weeks Jesus has been placing a theme of gratitude in my prayer and in my daily life. I find myself constantly looking for what I'm thankful for, and asking myself 'how is God revealing His love for me today?' Yesterday I went to adoration, and the last part of this verse was the Gospel proclamation yesterday, so I looked it up in my bible, and was struck by this whole part. 

Rejoice always, pray always, give thanks always. But the funny thing is - these are all tied together. If we give thanks always, we are looking for how God is loving us, thus we are praying always - and if we are looking at how well God is loving us then it is quite easy to rejoice. Pray, give thanks, rejoice. 

Happy Monday friends! and God bless you!

Rain Drops Dancing on the Street

As I sit here working on a gratitude talk, a rain storm has started here in Columbus, and I find myself pausing to watch the rain. We have an attic fan in our house, so we have that one bringing in the cool, rain-scented air. My roommate and I sit here working and continually sigh of happiness and contentment with the weather.

A warm cup of tea. A good book. My journal. My bible. My favorite pen. Good music.

Sometimes we take the little things for granted, or we get annoyed by the inconvenience rain may cause us. However, other times it is so clear, so easy to see God's presence working in our lives. A friend posted on facebook that a child told her she was beautiful, and another told her she had beautiful hair - Jesus gave her a little extra loving through little children today.

I work in a hospital, and I try to look for Jesus when I'm there - I mean, he is the Divine Physician, so he's clearly present in a hospital setting. One time I saw him through a father loving his sick daughter. I see him through a son loving his father. Those are the 'easy' ones per say. Some of the hard ones have been when I am with a patient who starts acting at. One time a patient hopped out bed and started running down the halls, going into patients rooms, and through the help of other staff we were able to get him into bed, and calm him down. After this night, I left feeling a little distressed, but then as I was driving home, I asked myself - where was Jesus in this situation? I realized then that Jesus was present in me... this patient can be seen as the follower of Christ rebelling against Jesus, and lashing out on Jesus - where I am in Jesus, loving this person regardless of him hurting me, and staying with him through the hard time. Jesus does that through us.

Seeing Jesus in all scenarios is challenging, and it's something we learn. "I have learned the secret of being well fed and of being hungry, of living in abundance and of being in need." Phil. 4:12

Gratitude, eucharisteo - thanksgiving and joy - is not something found over night, but something we learn in a slow, life-long process. We start with the easy, and as it's easier to give thanks in the easy times, we begin to look for thanksgiving opportunities in the hard too.

May we rejoice in the little things, the rain drops dancing on the street.

Monday memo: Love our Lady

Love our lady and she will help you conquer in your daily struggle. 

St. Josemaria e

Monday Memo: Divine Mercy Edition

O life so dull and monotonous, how man treasure you contain! I look at everything with the eyes of faith, no two hours are alike, and the dullness and monotony disappear. The grace which is given me in the hour will not be repeated in the next. It may be given me again, but it will not be the same grace. Time goes on never to return again. Whatever is enclosed in it will never change; it seals with a seal for eternity. Diary if st faustina 

The Art of Letting Go

Well, it has been some time since I've posted. Through the chaos of moving, new classes, and adjusting to all the new things that begin in the fall, I've been kept pretty busy. This semester I'm really working on easing my way back into school. For those who don't know, I took off spring semester due to chronic daily headaches, so I've been on quite the journey so far in my short 20 years of life, and can't wait to see what the rest holds. However, my point is I took spring semester off to get better, so I could actually do the work required of a nursing student. So where I was in my program left me kind of stuck taking electives this semester. I have nutrition (required for my program), Spanish, Hip Hop Aerobics, Pilates, and Holistic Nursing: Therapeutic Touch.

I've come to realize this semester is really giving me an opportunity to take care of myself. Specifically, through my therapeutic touch class. The overall theme of the class is we need to be able to take care of ourselves in order to help others to heal themselves in their illness. As a part of this class we had to complete a self assessment and choose a mindfulness practice to work on throughout the semester. I chose letting go. I've always held onto things. My past has formed who I am, and I hold my memories very dear to my heart. I often re-live moments of my life over and over and over - sometimes cherishing the good memories, sometimes relishing in the pain of the old ones. And sometimes I dwell in something I wish I could go back and change. This summer I had to tell once of my friends they needed to be gone from my life because they were causing me to emotionally be hurt repeatedly and I was allowing unnecessary distress in my life because of this relationship. Now, I keep wanting to go back to this, to not do it or to do it differently or to contact this person asking if we can be friends again, but really what I need to do is let it be. let it go. So I haven't learned much yet, other than this practice is a moment to moment practice. Often times I have to take it one moment at a time, take a deep breath, calm myself down, and remind myself that it was the right decision.

The art of letting go - that's exactly what it is - an art. It takes practice, each day, reminding yourself that it's okay - the past is the past, learn from it, but leave it in the past. As I continue on this journey of letting go, I will fill you in on what I learn, but for now this is all I've got.

Peace, love, and blessings of God to you!

So Just Let Go

Tonight I'm working a night shift at the hospital... So about 8 o'clock pm I went to the coffee shop and ordered a large latte for myself. On my slower days in life I often find myself wondering about a variety of things - and often times dwelling in the challenges of life. As I was driving home, I had the Christian radio station on and this line from a song stood out to me

so just let go 
'cause you're held in His arms. 

It comes from a song by Natalie Grant called Hurricane - check it out here.

I heard those words and a great weight was lifted from my chest.

There was a boy who hurt me, who wounded my heart -  and Jesus still has to heal it, and that's okay, I need to let go of that hurt - Jesus is gonna catch me.

Chronic daily headaches do exist, I do have them and live with them. I am going to have dizzy spells, and constantly be afraid that something is going to trigger them. I am excited and terrified to start school again in a few weeks because of it- but I can't let my fear hold me back - I need to let go and know Jesus is gonna catch me. Illness and suffering are a part of this life.

There are friendships that will be hard, and there are hard conversations we'll need to have with people in our lives. It's okay - let go of your own desires, your own expectations. Jesus is gonna catch you.

I fear for my mom, for her health. I want her to be there on my wedding day. I want my kids to remember her, and I want her to be there for me when I have my kids. But I fear she won't be here when that time comes. Just let go - I'm held in Jesus' arms.

Relationships are scary. And sometimes we are lonely, and we're afraid that no one is going to love us. And we feel like we're completely worthless, and completely alone. And it feels like we're not going to make it to tomorrow. Just let go - cause you're held in his arms.

I'm not saying this means we just need to sit and do nothing with our lives - but need to not hold onto past hurts, and to not allow fear to hold us back from doing something great, and to not let the risk keep us from total surrender to Christ - that's when we need to let go and remember he's holding us in his arms.

 I saw a thing on pinterest once that said something along the lines of "I have a 100% success rate of making it through bad days." This brought me a glimpse of encouragement - remembering this, and remembering we have a God who loves us unconditionally and we are safe in his arms - we can endure all things and all trials - we can be women, we can be for God - trusting that we are held safe in his arms.

So just let go 'cause you are safe in his arms.

Where I Saw Jesus

Each week I'm going to keep track of where I saw Jesus during my days and then share where he reveals himself to me because I know that my struggle lately has been to see God in the day to day mundane tasks of life. 

Monday: Jesus loved me through my patients. He told me I had beautiful hair and beautiful eyes. He used me to love a little child in need of a friendly face, and another he loved through me by her playing with my hair. 

Tuesday: Jesus let me see the brokenness of a man - and I was the first staff person to get him to talk since his accident - Jesus used me well.

Wednesday: Jesus loved my patients through me in the patience I used with them. This day I had elderly men in need of a little extra work. 

Thursday: Jesus gave me a day to rest and loved my sister through me and me through her. 

Friday: Jesus allowed me to see the pain of watching a loved one struggle. My patient was an old man and his wife was suffering so much by watching him suffer - he showed me a challenge of marriage, of love. He allowed me to be an instrument of his love in my calmness and attentiveness to my patient and his needs. 

Saturday - Jesus gave me some tiredness to offer up for my patient. 

He allowed me to see him love his daughter when the father of my patient came for a visit. He kissed her awake, stroked her hair, helped her walk, helped her change, and loved her unconditionally. I don't think I had ever seen Jesus so clearly before. 

My next patient was an elderly woman - Jesus gave me a kind smile and a friendly hand to help the woman out.

Last Jesus gave me an elder man and his wife. Before his wife left for the day I go to pray with them, and throughout my one I was able to be a listening ear a kind smile, a caring heart. My favorite part here was tucking my patient into bed and the smile he gave me - I knew I was being Jesus to him in that moment! 

Sunday - this day Jesus came to me in the Eucharist. He loved me so well, satisfied the hunger and thirst my heart had. He gave me an opportunity to be Jesus for my mom by giving her a break from the dogs and starting dinner for her. 

Each day he gives me an opportunity to pray for my patient and to love in a new way. Now - to see it daily 

For Love of the Poor

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. -Mother Teresa 


I spent last week in New York, chaperoning 15 high school students on a mission trip. It was an amazing trip that I know will continue to impact, and to transform my life, and the way I choose to live, to love, to serve, and to work. 

The past few days I have been asking myself - how did this trip impact my life? How and what do I want to change? Where did I experience God?

I can tell you that I experienced God all over the place the week I spent in New York - in the students, in the poor we were serving, in the brothers hosting us, and more. But I started to think more so - how was I struggling prior to the trip, and after some reflection I was struggling to see God in my day to day tasks - in my work, in my house and sisters, in my day to day norm I was failing to see God. 

While in New York, the last night a postulate at the friary, Augusto, shared a part of his testimony that struck me - and I later had a more in depth conversation with him about it as well - and this is where I encountered God, and where my faith needed renewed. 

In Augusto's testimony, he shared about how he used to work in construction, so it was really comfortable for him to go into people's houses and he was on a mission trip in Kentucky, and was struggling to see God on this trip. The man they were working with was named Jerry. Jerry was bed ridden, and not fully with it mentally - but he remembered this man's name. Later that night, during reflection - Jerry became Jesus. So what he did was while reflecting on the day Jerry's name was replaced with Jesus. Jesus called me by name. Jesus thanked me today. Jesus hugged me today. Jesus held my hand. And so it came to be that Jerry was Jesus on this trip - after he shared this part of his story I was greatly impacted - I am often impacted by other people's experiences. 

One of our projects on the trip was to help a lunch program they run. When Brother Michael introduced us to the program and explained it to us he told us they set it up restaurant style rather than buffet style because they want the people to feel like people - to show them their worth, their dignity. One day, one of the students was serving a table, as how it normally works, and as the people we were serving were leaving, one of the women at her table came up and thanked each of us, but she hugged the student who was at her table. This student shared how this encounter touched her heart - and in the moment I realized how Jesus' love was being exchanged in this relationship. The woman we were providing with food felt Christ's love through the student, in her service. But the student experienced Christ's love through the woman who hugged her. That woman was Christ hugging her.  

I started reflecting on these experiences and my own life - and thinking about where I was too comfortable. I came to the conclusion that I was too comfortable in my work - in serving people. At my job in the hospital I'm what you call a safety care associate, or a patient sitter. My job is to keep patient's calm, a lot of times I sit with fall risk patients, or suicide patients, and there are other patients as well. However, I sometimes do jobs outside of my requirements, like wiping them after going to the bathroom, or feeding someone lunch, or helping them take a shower, get dressed, get into bed, etc. I was getting too comfortable serving people. It was the norm for me to take care of people. And in the weeks leading up to the mission trip I found myself getting frustrated with patients at work when they were hard, or annoying for whatever reason - because they were hard, and asked more of me than I wished to do that day. 

Today I went back to work, and I looked for God in my day. One patient told me I had beautiful hair, and another told me I had beautiful eyes, and a third asked me if she could do my hair for me. And at the end of the day I realized that these patients were Jesus loving me, but I was also being Jesus to them by loving them and caring for them. It was actually an absolutely beautiful day and experience - so renewing and refreshing to see Christ in the day to day, mundane tasks of life. 

I chose the title for love of the poor - because I worked with the poor - but financial physical poverty isn't the only form of poverty - lack of love and patience and gentleness is a greater poverty, and my work is to care for patients - to care for people at their low. Praise the Lord for his goodness, for his call for us to love the poor! 

A Little Prayer Goes a Long Way

"A little prayer goes a long way" 


I'd say this is a phrase I've learned to ring true throughout my few years as a Christian, and Catholic. This July I'll be heading to NYC for a mission trip as an adult chaperon with around 15 youth. I am beyond excited for this experience. But the reason I post today is to share a prayer with you. While prepping for this mission trip we were concerned with not having enough students sign up, but with a little faith and a little prayer the Lord has provided abundantly. For the next 6 weeks, the adult team is going to pray the Novena to the Sacred Heart that I included below. We chose this prayer because Mother Teresa frequently used to pray this prayer - and she also worked with the poor and the ill. So following the model of this saintly woman we will be praying for our time of service with this prayer. And I simply wanted to encourage all to pray everyday, even just a little. It will go a long way if we just have a little faith. 


NOVENA TO THE SACRED HEART

O Divine Jesus, who has said: Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened unto you; behold us prostrate at Your feet. Animated with a lively faith and confidence in these promises, dictated by Your Sacred Heart and pronounced by Your adorable lips, we come to ask
(here mention the request.)

From whom shall we ask, O sweet Jesus, if not from You, whose Heart is an inexhaustible source of all graces and merits? Where shall we seek, if not in the Treasure which contains all the riches of your clemency and bounty? Where shall we knock, if it be not at the door of your Sacred Heart through which God Himself comes to us and through which we go to God? To You then, O Heart of Jesus, we have recourse.In You we find consolation when afflicted, protection when persecuted, strength when overwhelmed with trials, and light in doubt and darkness.

We firmly believe thatYou can bestow upon us the grace we implore, even though it should require a miracle. We confess we are most unworthy of Your favors, O Jesus, but this is not a reason for us to be discouraged. You are the God of Mercies and You will not refuse a contrite and humble heart.Cast upon us a look of pity, we beg of You and Your compassionate Heart will find in our miseries and weakness a
pressing motive for granting our petitions. But, O Sacred Heart, whatever may be Your decision with regard to our request, we will never cease to adore, love, praise, and serve You. Deign, Lord Jesus, to accept this, our act of perfect submission to the decrees of your adorable Heart, which we sincerely
desire may be fulfilled in and by us and all your creatures for ever and ever. Amen.

O Sacred Heart of Jesus, Your Kingdom come!

(To be prayed every day of the novena)

Be Satisfied with Me

A friend gave this to me this morning and I wanted to share it with you all! 

BE SATISFIED WITH ME

Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone,
To have a deep soul relationship with another,
To be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God, to a Christian, says,
"No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content
With being loved by Me alone,
With giving yourself totally and unreservedly to Me,
With having an intensely personal and unique relationship
With Me alone.
Discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found,
Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship
That I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united
With Me alone,
Exclusive of anyone or anything else,
Exclusive of any other desires or longings.

I want you to stop planning,
Stop wishing,
And allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing,
One that you cannot imagine.
Please allow Me to bring it to you.
You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I Am.
Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait.
That's all.
Don't be anxious.
Don't worry.

-Anonymous

Monday Memo on Tuesday...

"Love for the Cross has always been the distinctive sign of chosen souls." St. Padre Pio

Consecrated to the Father

"Consecrate them in the truth. Your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I sent them into the world. And I consecrate myself for them, so that they also may be consecrated in truth." Jn 17:17-19

In this Gospel reading Jesus is asking the Father to remain with us - with those of us who will be his followers here on this earth. He gives himself, he consecrates himself to the Father for our sake. He wants us to know truth. He wants us to know Love.

Jesus wants us to be one with the Holy Trinity. He consecrated himself to the Father, and in that he consecrates us to the Father as well. We must choose to consecrate ourselves - to give ourselves, our lives to the Father, and allow Jesus to work and move in our lives. When we give our lives to Christ, when we choose to be set apart because of our faith - we are then blessed to live in the glory of God's Love.

I was reflecting on this the other day, and was convicted to consecrate myself, once again to God, in my heart, in my quiet personal prayer, to proclaim Jesus as Lord of my life. I have done the Marian Consecration three or four times now, but for the first time since making that consecration - I felt convicted on my own accord, in my own timing to truly give myself to God. It was a really neat experience to simply be convicted to give my life to Christ again - so that I may be able to carry him into my daily tasks, in the work place, in the home, and wherever I may go.

Here's the little prayer I wrote during this time of prayer and reflection:

 Father, I consecrate myself to you. I give myself to you. Do with me what you will. I am yours. Make me a humble servant of your love. Amen.

I want to encourage you to continue to seek God each day, in some seek him so that he may flood your heart with his peace, fill it with his joy, and overflow with his love. In his time, he will convict you to give yourself entirely to him, but we must simply continue to seek him each day, and know that even in all our imperfections and flaws, he loves us still!

A Reflection on Communion

For the last four months I have been to attend mass daily, except for Saturdays (mainly because I was too lazy to get up...) and this has been such a beautiful blessing - to receive the body, blood, soul, and divinity of our Lord and Savior every day. I saw a transformation in myself, in my love, in my joy, and much needed healing. However, life has now picked up again, and last week I wasn't able to make it mass everyday. I actually went 4 full days without receiving the Eucharist. Come Sunday morning mass, I was so excited to receive Jesus. And upon receiving the Eucharist, I was so filled with joy. I could truly say my heart was exalting in the love of the Lord, in which I had been immersed. 

It is so important to receive the Lord as often as possible, which I knew. But now I have experienced the effects, and felt a difference in my heart - a true, deeper longing for Christ when not able to receive him. Brothers and sisters, I encourage you to seek Christ as much as you can in the Eucharist. Seek his love, his mercy, his kindness, gentleness, and healing power. He is the end all, be all, he is everything. Make him your everything. Allow yourself to fall so in love with the Lord, you cannot go a day without seeking him. 

Monday Memo: Mama T

"We may spend time in chapel- but have you seen with the eyes of your soul how He looks at you with love? Do you really know the living Jesus- not from books but from being with Him in your heart? Have you heard the loving words He speaks to you? Ask for the grace; He is longing to give it. Until you can hear Jesus in the silence of your own heart, you will never be able to hear Him saying "I thirst" in the hearts of the poor."
-Mother Teresa

St. Catharine of Siena

This is an excerpt from a book I'm reading. I love this book because the chapters are just 2 pages long and beautiful, inspirational messages that remind of the duty which has been given us by God. 

"We ought to be servants because we are bought with his blood. However, I do not see how our service can be profitable to him; therefore, we should be of profit to our neighbor, because the neighbor is the means by which we test and gain virtue. You know that every virtue receives life from love, and love is gained in love, that is, by raising the eye of our mind to behold how much we are beloved of God. Seeing ourselves loved, we cannot do otherwise than love. Loving him, we shall embrace virtue through the force of love, and shall hate vice and turn from it. 

So you see that we conceive virtues through God, and bring them to birth from our neighbor. You are well aware that for the needs of your neighbor you bring forth the child charity from your soul, along with patience with whatever wronds your neighbor does to you. You pray, especially for those who have done you wrong. And this we should do; even if people are untrue to us, we should be true to them, and faithfully seek their salvation; loving them by grace, and not for personal gain. In other words, do not love your neighbor for your own profit, for that would not be faithful love, and you would not be responding to the love God has for you. For as God has loved you by grace, so he wills that since you are unable to return this love to him, you return it to your neighbor, loving him by grace and not, as I already pointed out, as part of a deal. So whether you are wronged or should see that love is withheld or your joy is lessened, you must not be stingy or withhold love toward your neighbor. Instead you should love him tenderly, bear with and endure his faults. Always be reverent toward God's servants and find consolation in them. 

Take care not to behave like mad or foolish people who pretend to investigate and judge the actions and habits of God's servants. Anyone who acts this way deserves a severe rebuke. This would be the same as trying to rein in the Holy Spirit as if we could make all the servants of God walk in our own way - an impossible feat to achieve."