The other day I was really beating myself up. I was so mad because I had messed up again. I had failed again. I had put worldly wants and desires before my prayer. I had let things of this world interfere with my relationship with God. I was so angry. I was angry with myself, more than that – I was disgusted with myself. I had literally just gone to confession for this sin and I was committing again- only 3 days later! After finishing my childish fit for lack of better terms, I realized that Christ knew that was going to happen. He knew that I would go to confession for rejecting Him and then 3 days later reject him yet again, for the same reasons, and He CHOSE, I say it again He CHOSE to die for me, for me, a poor, helpless, worthless sinner – for me He CHOSE DEATH! For YOU he chose death. For us, his children HE CHOSE DEATH!!! Can I make myself any clearer? Christ chose to die on the cross for me, knowing that I would put aside my relationship with him, knowing I would reject him, knowing I would sin and fail him. He did this for all of us. All of our days are written in his book. He knows the events of each day and the ways we will fail him and he still chooses to die for us. What great love the Father has for us, that He sends His only Son to die for us, knowing of all our failures and the Son follows through with this and chooses to suffer and die for us.
May we surrender ourselves to our God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit! May we allow Him to cleanse us of our sins and give us a clean slate each time we go to confession. May we allow His love to consume Him and let Him wash us in the most precious blood shed by the Son in the Crucifixion.
“What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will understand later.” John 13:7
So often in this life we do not understand what Jesus is doing at the present moment. We do not understand why certain things happen. We do not understand why there is war in Iraq or in Libya, or why our schools have class during the Holy Triduum, or why relationships end. Here, when Jesus washes the feet of His apostles Peter does not understand why Christ must do this and Christ tells him in response “…you do not understand now, but you will understand later.” Someday you will understand, someday you will know why, someday you will see the beauty that will come from the mess.
Christ has a reason and a perfect plan for every occurrence in our lives. We may not always understand right away, but someday, with time, we will see the good that comes from the bad and we will see how Christ has His hand in place, directing all along and waiting for our yes to take the next step.
