God Rewards Our Efforts

I went to morning prayer at one of the SPO women's households this morning. For this we prayer liturgy of the hours (click here to learn more), and we do some intercessions. One of the girl's prayed for the Lord to answer our prayers, to reward our efforts. And then I was driving one of the girls to her class this morning and we were talking about this - the Lord rewarding our efforts.

As you all know by now, I took a semester off school, and during that time I was able to go to daily mass a lot. Though I struggled through that time, I see the Lord rewarded it. Now, I'm going through a tougher semester of school, spending a lot of time studying, had to cut back my hours at work, but the Lord has rewarded me in this because he has given me more opportunities to attend mass, an increased desire for the Eucharist, and he has given me a place to serve where I am fulfilled in all that I do.

This sister I was taking to school had a similar thought - in that God is her strength. She just started an additional class this week for the semester, and it's more taxing and very different from the classes she has recently been in, and she was questioning how she was going to do this - and then on Wednesday, she entrusted it to the Lord. She no longer had the strength to keep going, but since she handed it to the Lord he has supplied the strength she needed to persevere.

I was talking with one of my high schoolers on Sunday after youth group, and she was sharing her struggles, particularly her struggle in her walk with God at the present time and as we were chatting I told her that God was grateful for her efforts. It was a good thing that she recognized her relationship with the Lord was hurting, and it was a good thing she was seeking someone out! Praise the Lord for his goodness! He rewards us in ways that we never imagine.

There's a song that says something to the effect of there being more tears shed over answered prayers than unanswered ones - which I think is funny because God hears all our prayers, and he responds, but in accord with His will and including our free will.

So if you are feeling discouraged in your prayer, your relationship with God, your relationship with others - I encourage you not to be. Turn to the Psalms - they show us how God truly answers our prayers. He doesn't always answer them in the way we want or the way we expect, but he rewards our prayer, our efforts. He provides, and we can find peace and hope in that!

Patience in the Transformation of Your Soul

A year ago I was mad at God... actually, I was pissed. I was so frustrated for so many reasons. I was frustrated because I had to take a semester off school, because I was in chronic pain... literally every day my head, neck, and shoulders hurt inexplicably. And, naturally, there were boy issues... there was a guy in my life who had been a dear friend for years, but I liked him as more than a friend and over the fall we had gotten close, texting on a daily basis... and then he had started dating someone else around the time that I withdrew from classes and was still frustrated because I felt like crap every day.. Him starting to date someone was like kicking me while I was down, and I realize now that I was validating myself through his love, encouragement and support. It has been a long journey.. Today, as I was running I was reflecting on my life. I have never been a person to run when it's twenty degrees outside and there's snow on the ground. I ran three times this week, and each time there was snow on the ground. Who am I?

In the past year I've learned a lot, but before I go on I want to share a story about my patient. My patient today, who greatly impacted me, was a middle aged woman who has been fighting cancer. She had surgery, and is now recovering at our rehab center, as she has been fighting this impossible battle. I was with her for four hours last Saturday. Last weekend I had to console her while she was crying because she felt like she was never going to get better, she wanted to be back to what she was.. and my heart broke for her. So today, when I saw I was with her, it was so good. I helped her with a transfer, and it was so much better. She was more alert. She had more color to her face. She held on a conversation with me. And I told her all of these things. She looks at me at one point and says I don't know why I'm so shaking today. And I asked her what makes you say that. And she showed me and I went on telling her how much better she's doing today compared to a week ago. And she said thank you. I told her she needed to patient with herself because healing takes time.

Now, if only I could have taken this to heart a year ago. I know I was blessed to be in the spot I was, my household sisters held me accountable, kept me praying, supported me, and loved me so much when I thought I was unlovable. I've learned a lot in the last year, more than words can ever express. But as I was reflecting on this while I was running, I've realized the importance of self care. Last semester I had a nutrition class, and another class that really focused on the importance of caring for ourselves. This semester I'm in a fundamental nursing class where we learn the standards and skills one needs to be a nurse. But we talk in this class, to some extent, about the importance of self care as well. And I'm in an anatomy and physiology class where we're learning about how the human body functions as a whole, so again I am learning about the gift that my body is... And I think this is why I have been running more. I have found motivation to run because I've realized it makes me feel better. I eat healthier too, and again, I think this because I see the results of how I feel. Managing stress is extremely important for me because stress triggers my headaches.

My over-arching thought in all of this; however, is how far I have come in the past year. My relationships with my parents are two of the most important relationships in my life... I never would have said that a year ago. My relationship with God - there are not words. Sometimes on Valentine's day it's easy to get caught up in the "I'm single" moping mode, but this did not happen. I spent the day finding ways to show my sisters how loved they are, and I went to mass and adoration, and took extra prayer time in the afternoon as well, where Jesus just consumed my heart. I cannot recall a time in my life where I have ever felt so loved! I love going to school. I'm in the classes I would have been in if I had not been ill last year. I have made really good friends with one of the girls in my class. I find such joy in all that I am doing. I have a job I love. I am serving with a youth group, and working with a team where my leadership skills really get to grow and be tested. A year ago, this all seemed in possible, and in various moments it felt as if my life was over and my dreams were never going to come true (melodramatic, I know).

So what I'm preaching here - we need to be patient with ourselves. I needed this past year to grow in numerous ways. In these ways I've grown, most of all I've grown closer to Christ. That is transformation of the soul. All our lives spent on earth are to transform our souls, to prepare for heaven. We just need to learn to be patient with ourselves, especially in a world filled with instant gratification..

Thus - if you're beating yourself up right now in your life, for any reason, stop. You are right where you're supposed to be. You are loved more than you can possibly imagine, and if life seems really hard right now - have hope, God is working a miracle in your soul!

Love Love Love

With Valentine's day just around the corner, literally...tomorrow, this is a fitting post, but not what inspired me. Recently the virtue of charity has been frequenting my prayer. It started when I went to confession in January and the priest explained some things, and how this particular sin I was struggling with is an example of selfish love, and he explained how charity is kind of like the virtue of all virtues. Two weeks later I went to confession again, and again charity got mentioned. I'd been thinking a lot about love, and what that means and what that looks like, but I apparently needed to take it deeper still. Finally, in prayer time I decided to pull out my catechism - what does the catechism teach on charity? well I'm glad you asked because there's a boat load... Here are my findings from the catechism:

• "Charity is superior to all virtues. (1826)
• The practice of all virtues is animated and inspired by charity, which binds everything together in perfect harmony...charity upholds and purifies our human ability to love, and raises it to the supernatural perfection of Divine Love(1827). 
• The practice of charity gives the Christian the spiritual freedom of the children of God. 
• fruits of charity - peace, joy, and mercy
• Love is itself the fulfillment of all our works. There is the goal; that is why we run: we run towards it, and once we reach it, in it we find rest. St. Augustine
• Charity is the soul of the holiness to which we are all called
• Love, in fact, is the vocation which includes all others; it's a universe of its own, comprising all space, and time- it's eternal., St. Therese
• Love is the source of prayer, whoever draws from it reaches the summit of prayer 
• The way of perfection passes by way of the cross. There is no holiness without renunciation and spiritual battle. 

The practice of all virtues is animated and inspired by charity, which binds everything together in perfect harmony...charity upholds and purifies our human ability to love, and raises it to the supernatural perfection of Divine Love

Charity - the virtue of all virtue.. 

Today, I went for a run. There's this park near my house that has a really nice trail that I love to run on. Today when I got there, the sheriff department was there with a team doing something on the ice of the pond that's there. I have no idea what they were doing. I never stopped to ask. I just went for my run. But I'm a curious person, so I wondered why they were there and created this ridiculous scenario in my head. I recently heard a talk, given by a couple, and the woman said something about woman's brains taking one thing and running with it.. very far.. and every woman in the room laughed and nodded their heads.. I think the men were stumped by the statement. So the scenario I came up with - I decided they were searching for a body of a person who had gone missing, and they got a tip that someone spotted a person in this pond. So then I decided the person is found.. and they perform CPR bringing this person to life. Then I imagine a news crew there asking me what I thought about this situation and so basically I had a chance to speak my mind, so I began to think about what I would say. I decided that I would say the situation made me sad... whether the person ended up there by murder, or suicide it would make me sad. There is such a lack of love in this world that if this person was committing suicide it would make me sad because that means they felt unnoticed, and unwanted in this world. If it was murder it would make me sad because the person who did it probably had a really hard life, and never knew they were cherished.. 

So basically, this all boils down to love. If I had one message that I could send out to the world it would be one of love. We all need to make an effort to love each other, to encourage each other. To be selfless, and give of ourselves - to be gifts to those around us. Scripture tells us to love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. And love your neighbor as yourself (Lk 10:27). 

In Philippians it says: do nothing out of selfishness or vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves. 

That gets me every time - humbly regard others as more important than yourselves. In  a world that promotes success, and success measured by money and accomplishment it is mighty hard to put others before yourself. 

I'm in nursing school. I chose nursing because of many reasons. I felt called there, I felt peace with that choice, and my dad approved of this education choice... but most of all it was because I knew I wanted to spend my life serving other people, and what better way to do that than as a nurse. My job is to put people before myself, to care for them, to love them...as they are; which is often at their worst.. 

Through the Catechism, through scripture, through my own experiences I have learned love is the most powerful of all virtues, and I just want to encourage each of us to look to the Lord for love, for he loves us more than our minds can fathom, and to strive to love each person we encounter with all that we have all that we are because all that we have and all that we are is from Christ. It is in him that we find our home. 

God bless! 

Peace and love in Christ!